Open post

[bringingdowndisaster]

Comments

BECAUSE.

[gentledawn]

Xiao Xingchen, at his core, is an incredibly empathetic man. Even with his spirit in pieces, he can't stand to hear Xue Yang cry night after night. He has seen glimpses of the man climbing into his coffin too - just for contact and company. Though he knows he should resist the magic Xue Yang is attempting in order to revive him - it won't end well - Xingchen gathers what he can of his spirit and settles back into his cold body.

Sucking in a sharp breath, he panics when he is greeted with darkness. But then he remembers. His body doesn't have eyes. That's right. Raising his hands, he grips the sides of the coffin and weakly, so weakly, tries to sit up.

yessss

[bringingdowndisaster]

It's been over a year since Xiao Xingchen died. The scene keeps replaying in his head. The flash of steel, the blood, Xiao Xingchen's lifeless body slumping to the ground. Ever since he's driven himself insane trying to bring him back. The usual way hadn't worked. He'd sensed that Xingchen's soul was in pieces, shattered upon death. So something else would have to be attempted. He'd have to try and repair Xingchen's soul... somehow.

He'd tried every trick he knew, but nothing seems to work. He's despairing most days. His only company is the silent, undead presence of Song Lan - a poor substitute for Xiao Xingchen. He hasn't seen A-Qing since Xingchen's death. He's considered tracking her down, mainly because she could potentially be a threat if she wags her tongue to the wrong people. He just hasn't gotten around to it yet.

He's sitting in the corner of their once home, watching over Xiao Xingchen's lifeless body in the coffin. He's used talismans to make sure that it won't decompose. It has to be pristine for when Xiao Xingchen returns to it. He's slept very badly though, and he finds himself nodding off eventually.

A foreign sound wakes him up. Creaking wood, a body moving. "Stop creeping around, Song-daozhang," he murmurs groggily, slowly opening his eyes to instead see...

"Xiao Xingchen?" he gasps, suddenly fully awake and alert. "Xiao Xingchen!!" His vision blurs with tears as he crawls over to the coffin and immediately throws his arms around the other man. "Xiao Xingchen, Daozhang...!" he sobs. "You came back!"

[gentledawn]

The stiffness of death grips him, though he is surprised to find himself in immaculate condition. Even the wound on his neck has been healed and neatly bandaged. It takes a few minutes of simply breathing for him to regain some control of his body and in that time, he thinks he hears crying. Sobbing.

He had come back for a reason - a purpose. Xue Yang needs him. Song Zichen needs him. If he stayed dead, they would just continue to suffer and he can't bear that. Their pain, their anguish is worse to him than death.

The wood creaks as he sits up and his ears twitch at the sound of Xue Yang's voice. He sounds exhausted. His lips thin into a sad line and he opens his mouth, unsure if he can speak.

"X - " he tries, startled when a warm body wraps around him. That's when he realizes he is cold. So very cold. He shakes and tries to speak again:

"C-Cold."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xiao Xingchen is back... He's finally back... Xue Yang shakes with sobs as he cradles Xingchen in his arms, clinging desperately. He doesn't want to let go. Never ever again. It takes him a moment to realize that Xingchen is speaking. He forces himself to get it together and listen to the other man.

"Cold? You're cold?" Xue Yang immediately looks around until he locates a blanket. He grabs it and quickly wraps it around Xingchen. "Is that better?" He's so earnestly, desperately eager to please. Anything for Xiao Xingchen. Anything at all. He has so much to make up for...

[gentledawn]

The blanket helps quiet his shaking and Xingchen is able to breathe easier. He does slip a hand free of the cloth, however, to hold onto Xue Yang's wrist.

"I...heard...you." he had heard everything. His spirit hasn't left Yi City. Watching his loved ones fall apart has been his own version of Hell.

"Don't...cry." his hand rises, searching for Xue Yang's face, "And...l-let...Zichen go. Please." his brow furrows at how much energy it takes to get that much out. Yet he has more to say. So much more.

"Thank...you." for the care. For loving him. That love had been what drew him back to life.

[bringingdowndisaster]

His eyes fill with tears again. He can't stop looking at Xingchen's face. He's back, he's alive! "You did?" he asks, voice trembling, "You came back for me?"

He leans into the touch to his face, greedily soaking up any affection from him. He's been so starved of touch this whole time... He doesn't care that Xingchen's skin is rather cold to the touch. He'll warm him up.

The mention of Song Lan makes him stiffen up a little though. "...He'll kill me if I do," he says softly.

[gentledawn]

He nods slowly, feeling the bandages rubbing against his neck. His hand cups Xue Yang's face and he wipes away any tear he feels with his thumb.

"You...need me." Xingchen stumbles over how to put the rest. He loves Xue Yang. Deeply. Even though he had tricked him so terribly.

Yet there is one point he can answer easily:

"He won't. I'm here." he slides his arms around Xue Yang, resting his head on his shoulder, "He would...take...your life...for mine. Not his own. But I'm here." so Zichen won't go that far if Xingchen asks it of him.

[bringingdowndisaster]

He does need Xiao Xingchen. More than anything. He hadn't realized just how much until he'd lost him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Daozhang," he says, more tears dripping down his cheeks, "I hurt you so much, I'm sorry, I won't do it again... just please, don't leave me again..."

He shudders and leans into the embrace, wrapping his arms tightly around Xingchen. "...Okay. I'll... I'll release him."

[gentledawn]

"Shh..." Xingchen soothes and tucks himself, blanket and all, against Xue Yang. Warmth is beginning to spread from his chest to his arms and legs. Sensation is returning - heightening - and he sighs in relief.

"I was just..." he pulls back a little, voice low and hoarse, "I thought I had lost you. I thought it was all a joke to you. And then...Zichen." his face falls, "He was just trying to help me."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"I know, I'm sorry, I... I though you'd never want me a-as me," Xue Yang gets out between sobs and hiccups, "He was going to take you from me, I-I couldn't... I couldn't let that happen." Song Lan had truly been a threat to his happiness, but by killing him, he'd destroyed everything anyway.

[gentledawn]

"Xue Yang..." he says the name without anger or hate; Xingchen actually can't disguise his affection, "I love Zichen, but I love you too." Xingchen knows that probably sounds ghastly considering he is now a re-animated corpse, but...

It's the truth as his soul knows it.

"No one can take me away from you."

[bringingdowndisaster]

That causes another fresh wave of tears to well up and he draws Xingchen deeper into his arms. "I love you too, Daozhang!" he sobs. Another thing he hadn't realized until he'd lost Xiao Xingchen. He doesn't care at all about the state of Xiao Xingchen's body. All that matters is that he's back and that he loves him, still wants to be with him.

[gentledawn]

He smiles for the first time and the expression feels strange. Resting his hands against Xue Yang's back, he buries himself in the snuggle, nuzzling their heads together.

"...even...like this?" Xingchen can sense he is different - somewhere between alive and dead, "Can we...rest together...tonight?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Always," Xue Yang says, pouring all the love and sincerity in him into his voice. He practically crawls onto Xingchen's lap to hold him. "Y-Yes." Never again will Xiao Xingchen rest in a coffin. He'll have him in his arms every night...

[gentledawn]

He shivers for a different reason and bloody tears roll down his cheeks. But they are happy tears. Xingchen moves his hands over Xue Yang, checking him for wounds - only for him to feel how thin his love has become.

"You need to eat." as does he! "Can you cook? If you bring a chair into the kitchen, I can help."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Seeing the bloody tears make him feel a little cold inside for a moment. But right... that's just... that's just how Xiao Xingchen cries. "L-Let me get you a new blindfold," he murmurs. He's been keeping bandages on hand for that very purpose.

"Oh, uh, I don't... I don't know if I have any food left." It's been a while since he'd last gone to get some.

[gentledawn]

"If...if you wouldn't mind..." Xingchen is still self-conscious of his eyes - even though he had watched Xue Yang caring for him so gently. He sucks in a soft breath at what is said next, his brow furrowing.

"You were letting yourself starve?" he holds onto Xue Yang tighter, "Help me to the market. I will assure we have food." even if he must do so on credit. He has made friends in the town over the years and done some Cultivation work there.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang doesn't have to move far to grab a basin that he fills with water, a wash cloth and a new blindfold for his Daozhang. He can't take his eyes off the beautiful man sitting there, finally returned to him. He gently removes the stained blindfold and dips the wash cloth into the water before he starts to clean around his eyelids.

"I... I've been eating, just... I was trying so hard to bring you back, I wasn't thinking about it..." he murmurs, a little sheepishly. "We can go later. You need some rest. You just came back. I don't... I don't want you to exert yourself too much." He's so afraid that he's going to lose Xiao Xingchen again.

[gentledawn]

The preparation makes Xingchen flush with warmth and he huddles, a little bashful, under the blanket. This time he gets to feel Xue Yang's gentle touch - not just watch it from a distance - and his heart flutters. A little sigh escapes his lips, pleased, when his skin is clean.

"A-Yang..." he frowns worriedly and touches Xue Yang's chest and then his stomach, "I don't want you to die either."

Isn't that the fear? Xingchen moves his legs sluggishly, testing their strength. He feels like he has been in bed for a long, long time.

[bringingdowndisaster]

"I won't! I promise." How could he let himself die now that his reason for living has been returned to his arms? "We will go later. You just... you need to get used to moving again."

[gentledawn]

"I don't want to stay in this coffin." Xingchen grabs the coffin's side again and tries to angle himself onto his knees. Every inch of him trembles and he ends up falling against Xue Yang.

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Xiao Xingchen!" Xue Yang calls out in alarm as he sees how much Xingchen is trembling. He manages to catch him, wrapping his arms tightly around him.

"Daozhang, please... please be careful. Let me help you." His voice shakes a little as he very gently lifts the other man into his arms and carries him towards the bedroom. He's absolutely terrified of Xingchen hurting himself in any way, of anything happening that would undo all of... this.

On their way to the bedroom, they'll both be able to hear someone shuffling around just outside. Song Lan, of course. Unable to speak or to control his own body, patrolling around the coffin home like the world's most intimidating guard.

[gentledawn]

"I'm... I'm alright. My body just... It feels like jelly." Xingchen explains breathlessly, wrapping his arms around Xue Yang without complaint. He doesn't want to tax the other man, but he is very over being dead in a coffin. Besides, Xue Yang is so warm.

"When I'm...stronger...you can release him." he murmurs upon hearing Zichen's patrol, "He's...like me." he smiles without humor, "We can understand each other."

Thus Xue Yang will be safe.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang is reminded of when he'd carried Xiao Xingchen's dead body inside the house, except this time he's lifting him out of the coffin and back to their bed. He holds him close to his chest, tears pricking in his eyes, but they're happy ones. "Ye-Yeah. You've been... it's been over a year. That's why I said you have to rest."

He gently deposits Xingchen onto the bed once he reaches it. Those words make him feel guilty. "...Alright. He won't be released immediately. It'll be a little while before he comes back to himself. So... I could leave you two so you can tell him without me being there." Less chance of Song Lan trying to immediately choke him to death that way.

[gentledawn]

Their bed. Xingchen sucks in a deep breath, willing himself to not cry. He has watched Xue Yang trying to sleep, alone, comfortless, for so long and now he can hold him. His lips find Xue Yang's cheek and he kisses the skin softly.

"There are...exercises...I can start. Tomorrow." he curls up on the bed, unwilling to move from the spot he is placed. His head is spinning with fatigue, but he is afraid to sleep.

"N-No!" his voice cracks and he shudders, "Don't leave me. St-Stay..."