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[bringingdowndisaster]

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[gentledawn]

That was his thinking too! Poor Zichen deserves a better line of communication and this one is just their own. Maybe he is being selfish, but he likes not being overheard.

His Zichen belongs to him. Or...he did.

"You needed to heal. I don't want anyone to be like me, Zichen. I left the mountain too soon."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Song Lan frowns, guilt blooming in his chest. The fault is mine. I should have never told you to leave. I lashed out at the wrong person. I'm sorry, Xingchen. And he'll never stop being sorry. He hadn't meant what he'd said, not truly, but he had been so angry and in so much pain that he'd needed someone to take it out on. Poor Xingchen had been the only available target at the time.

[gentledawn]

"I made the choice, my Zichen. Don't blame yourself for being in pain. I've thought about that day a lot. I really should have stayed near you. I'm sorry." Xingchen bites his lip, feeling a rush of guilt too. Though the emotion does no good.

"I'm with you now. If you'll have me."

[bringingdowndisaster]

You have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong. Song Lan hurts looking at that blindfold, knowing that Xingchen had done that for him. Sacrificed so much... He doesn't feel deserving of it, but he knows that Xingchen - selfless as he is - would disagree.

I'm not going anywhere.

[gentledawn]

"I'm so glad you're back." even his mental voice is sounding sleepy. Xue Yang is warm in his arms and he is exhausted. His body isn't strong yet.

"I feel like I'm dreaming..."

[bringingdowndisaster]

I am too. He notices the sleepiness and smiles a little. Sleep, Xingchen. You need it. And he will keep watch, to make sure nothing happens in the night.

[gentledawn]

"I love you..." the words slip out as he drifts into a dreamless slumber. His exhaustion has made denying the truth impossible - especially when he hears Zichen's voice after so long.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Song Lan lets out a shocked little breath hearing that. He's so take aback that he doesn't manage to respond until after Xingchen has already drifted off. I love you too... he whispers through their connection.

[gentledawn]

A little smile tugs at Xingchen's lips even in his sleep. He has wanted to hear those words for years. Ages it feels like.

Some hours pass before he stirs, kissing Xue Yang's forehead.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang stirs slightly when he feels those lips against his forehead. He lets out a soft noise and burrows deeper into Xingchen's arms. Oh, what a wonderful way to wake up... Enveloped in his lover's arms, warm and safe. He even manages to forget about Song Lan and A-Qing, and just focus on the two of them for the moment.

[gentledawn]

The sound is cute and Xingchen smiles sleepily, hugging his lover to his chest. There. Nice and safe. He stretches his legs under the covers and sighs.

Across the room, A-Qing peeks out of her blanket burrow and frowns. No. No waking up yet!

[bringingdowndisaster]

Another pleased noise escapes. Being hugged closer makes him melt. He peeks up at Xingchen's pretty face and feels so lucky to have him. He'd almost completely fucked it all up, but he won't make the same mistake again.

Song Lan begins to stir as well, but he doesn't move much, nor does he open his eyes yet.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen bends his head and nuzzles their noses together; he can feel Xue Yang watching him. Not that it bothers him. Quite the opposite!

"Mm good morning." he laughs a little, "Is it morning?"

A-Qing thinks Song Lan has the right idea and wiggles closer to him.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang smiles warmly. "Yeah, it is. Good morning, Daozhang."

It is mostly because he doesn't want to see Xue Yang in Xingchen's arms that's keeping Song Lan from opening his eyes. Despite what Xingchen had told him last night, the jealousy is there. Xue Yang is, after all, the one who has the kind of relationship with Xingchen that Song Lan himself wishes that he could have.

[gentledawn]

"Zichen? Are you awake?" Xingchen calls mentally before smiling at Xue Yang's greeting, "How did you sleep? I don't think you moved much at all." which has to be a good sign?

He tries to sense the room around them, stretching out his senses. Yes, it is morning. He can feel the light.

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Mm, I slept well," Xue Yang says softly. It had been the best sleep he's had in over a year, honestly. "Did you?" He hopes so. Xiao Xingchen needs his rest too, and he wants the other man to feel safe and comfortable sleeping with him.

Hearing Xingchen's voice in his head, Song Lan slowly opens his eyes. Mm. I am awake.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen smiles softly at the answer, kissing Xue Yang's nose and lips. He can't resist!

"I did. You kept me warm." he is the sort of person who doesn't mind being held and cuddled while he sleeps. He prefers it, in fact!

Then he hears Zichen's voice, his ears twitching. "Did you sleep well? I'm sorry I couldn't be with you."

[bringingdowndisaster]

The kisses warm him very much and he nuzzles closer. He puts their foreheads together and kisses Xingchen back. "I promised I would." He smiles, so happy to be sharing a bed with Xiao Xingchen again.

Song Lan can see the affection between the two and he burns with jealousy and some sort of bitterness - watching Xingchen being so loving towards Xue Yang does hurt considering all the heinous things the man is responsible for. All the same, he finds that he can't blame Xingchen, or truly be angry with him either. And after seeing Xue Yang so grief-struck and pitiful, it's also hard to envision the cocky, smirking criminal who had stood over him and the bodies of his family and laughed. It's all so complicated and it makes him feel tired.

I slept alright. It's all he manages to "say".

[gentledawn]

Xingchen rubs their foreheads together and smiles, feeling warm and yet... He hugs Xue Yang tighter, his heart aching at the silence that looms between him and Zichen. Does he feel...left out? Disregarded? Maybe, even worse, betrayed?

"You kept your promise." he murmurs before focusing on Zichen, "You're upset. Is it because of Xue Yang? He's... He's changed. He wants to change. What he did to you...to me... You don't have to forgive him. I can't ask that of you. Just...let him live. I'll keep watch over him."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Song Lan is quiet for a moment before responding. I will not kill him. He can promise that much, at least. It's not just for Xingchen's sake. He doesn't actually think that killing Xue Yang would bring him any satisfaction. It won't bring back his family, and it would just hurt Xingchen.

Xue Yang is blissfully unaware of the mental conversation going on between Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen, and just snuggles into Xingchen. "Mmm... I keep my promises," he murmurs, yawning.

[gentledawn]

"Thank you, Zichen." Xingchen scrambles to find the words to express what else he wants - dearly wants, "I think I told you something...last night...when I was falling asleep?"

The entire time he uses the spell, he snuggles Xue Yang and - Gods above, the man makes his heart hurt!

"I know you do." he kisses his brow slowly, "Are you hungry?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

Suddenly, Song Lan's face feels a little hot. You... you did.

"Mmm," Xue Yang hums. He's not actually sure if he's hungry or not, but if Xingchen wants to get up and make breakfast, he'll follow him. Though he also wants to snuggle his lover for as long as possible, so he doesn't make a single move to get up.

[gentledawn]

"I meant it." Xingchen blushes and nuzzles his nose against Xue Yang's hair. The reluctance is cute, but it does worry him. They really will have to work on finding Xue Yang's appetite again.

"If you don't eat, you will end up like I was in that coffin. Your body needs it."

[bringingdowndisaster]

That makes Song Lan's face warm even more, but he has to know for certain... As a close friend? Or something more?

Xue Yang grumbles a little and nuzzles even closer. "Mmm... but Daozhang is so warm..." How is he meant to want to leave this warm cocoon?

[gentledawn]

"I... I do love you as a close friend, but that's... That's not it. I'm in love with you. You're...amazing, Zichen." Xingchen feels like he is stumbling over his words and his thoughts. He forces himself to breathe and he smiles a little at what Xue Yang has to say.

"We can stay like this for a little while longer." he murmurs, kissing the top of Xue Yang's head.