bringingdowndisaster

bringingdowndisaster

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From:

bringingdowndisaster

Song Lan has loved Xingchen since they started growing close all those years ago, but he had never wished to jeopardize their friendship by telling him. He regrets that now. Now he has no tongue to speak those words... And Xingchen has instead fallen in love with a murderer. Not that Song Lan truly blames him since he hadn't known who Xue Yang was for most of it, but it's obvious that the love is still there between them. He just blames himself for driving Xingchen into Xue Yang's arms.

Xue Yang lets out a relieved little sound when he's touched again, and leans into the touch to his cheek. He doesn't want to sour things with his jealousy so he just nods. "I'm tired," he says. Not untrue - despite his long nap, he still feels pretty exhausted.

From:

gentledawn

His heart has room for two. Somehow he will communicate that to his Zichen...to his A-Yang. But emotions are too tender at the moment, so the best he can do is care for them.

One at a time.

Xue Yang strokes Xue Yang's cheek and frowns worriedly. The answer makes perfect sense and he presses his lips to the other man's forehead, checking him for a fever.

"Will you lay down for me? I need to find a soft bed for Zichen and then I will lay down too. We...need rest."

From:

bringingdowndisaster

"We can... drag your bed into my room or the other way around," Xue Yang suggests. They had started sleeping together in Xue Yang's bed back then, and A-Qing had been given Xingchen's, but she's still hiding somewhere, and Xue Yang can imagine that Xingchen wouldn't want the three of them in separate rooms. They can figure out better sleeping arrangements later.

From:

gentledawn

"A-Qing can rest with Zichen." Xingchen goes back to his soulmate and drops a kiss on his forehead, "She is a sweet girl, Zichen. If you like, you can put a pillow between you and her."

He can't leave A-Qing or Zichen alone with Xue Yang. That...might end violently, after all.

Slipping away from the two men, he comes back with the bed, dragging it into place beside Xue Yang's bed.

From:

bringingdowndisaster

Song Lan takes Xingchen's hand and writes in his palm, She has been kind to me. A-Qing is such a sweet girl. And brave too, sticking around even after everything she'd witnessed...

As long as he gets to sleep with Xingchen, Xue Yang doesn't care much about how the other sleeping arrangements are made. With a tired sigh, he slumps into their bed.

From:

gentledawn

He softens at those words and kisses Zichen's forehead again. Who could be cruel to his soulmate? Zichen is much too precious and Xingchen will look after him from here forward.

"Let me go get her." he slips off to alert A-Qing. She surprises him, only coming into the room because he and Zichen are present. Then she hurries to Zichen's side.

"Everyone is safe." he promises, moving to Xue Yang and resting a hand on his soft hair, "I'll sleep on the outside." so he will know if Xue Yang gets up.

From:

bringingdowndisaster

Song Lan gives A-Qing what he hopes is a reassuring smile and gently strokes her hair. He'll power through the touch aversion to offer her some comfort.

Xue Yang barely looks at A-Qing as she enters the room, not wanting to see those - probably - accusing eyes. "Okay," he murmurs in response to Xingchen, moving closer to him.

From:

gentledawn

A-Qing smiles back and wiggles under the covers of the bed. She isn't afraid to sleep with one of the Daozhangs. She knows Zichen isn't...alive...exactly, but so? Everyone is different and at least he's kind.

Xingchen lays down beside Xue Yang and strokes over the man's hair.

"You need rest. We all do. We'll think clearer with sleep."

From:

bringingdowndisaster

It helps that A-Qing had kept him company, even when he wasn't able to respond to her, so he already feels comfortable around her. He gets into bed and lays down next to her, as a shield to protect if needed. He doubts he'll get much sleep. He doesn't exactly need it, but laying down still feels nice.

Xue Yang lets out a soft little sound and nuzzles into Xingchen's neck, arms wrapping around him. "Mm..."

From:

gentledawn

Xingchen lays back and tries the trick he used, years ago, to contact Zichen even if they weren't side by side. After murmuring a spell, he reaches out to his soulmate's mind.

"Are you comfortable?" his arms curl around Xue Yang, promising to keep the man safe while he sleeps. A-Qing is already yawning and curling up.

From:

bringingdowndisaster

Xue Yang curls up in Xingchen's arms, snuggling into him as he quickly drifts off to sleep.

Song Lan had forgotten about the communication spell, and even if he had remembered - he would've assumed it wouldn't work on a dead thing like himself. So, imagine his surprise when he suddenly hears Xingchen's voice in his head.

So it does work on him... That's a relief. Now they can actually communicate with one another. Xingchen... Yes.

From:

gentledawn

Xingchen kisses Xue Yang's head and rubs over his back. His heart swells at how much trust he is given and he promises himself and his A-Yang that he won't abuse it.

Then he discovers something else that is wonderful.

He can hear Zichen's voice. In his mind, at least. Smiling, he speaks to his love freely:

"You came back for me. How long have you been searching?"

From:

bringingdowndisaster

It's such a great relief to be able to talk to Xingchen, even if it is only like this. At least now there is a line of communication, and he won't have to rely on writing in Xingchen's palm.

I did. I was searching since I left your Master's mountain. I wished to leave as soon as I woke up, but your Master insisted I stay until I had healed.

From:

gentledawn

That was his thinking too! Poor Zichen deserves a better line of communication and this one is just their own. Maybe he is being selfish, but he likes not being overheard.

His Zichen belongs to him. Or...he did.

"You needed to heal. I don't want anyone to be like me, Zichen. I left the mountain too soon."

From:

bringingdowndisaster

Song Lan frowns, guilt blooming in his chest. The fault is mine. I should have never told you to leave. I lashed out at the wrong person. I'm sorry, Xingchen. And he'll never stop being sorry. He hadn't meant what he'd said, not truly, but he had been so angry and in so much pain that he'd needed someone to take it out on. Poor Xingchen had been the only available target at the time.

From:

gentledawn

"I made the choice, my Zichen. Don't blame yourself for being in pain. I've thought about that day a lot. I really should have stayed near you. I'm sorry." Xingchen bites his lip, feeling a rush of guilt too. Though the emotion does no good.

"I'm with you now. If you'll have me."

From:

bringingdowndisaster

You have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong. Song Lan hurts looking at that blindfold, knowing that Xingchen had done that for him. Sacrificed so much... He doesn't feel deserving of it, but he knows that Xingchen - selfless as he is - would disagree.

I'm not going anywhere.

From:

gentledawn

"I'm so glad you're back." even his mental voice is sounding sleepy. Xue Yang is warm in his arms and he is exhausted. His body isn't strong yet.

"I feel like I'm dreaming..."

From:

bringingdowndisaster

I am too. He notices the sleepiness and smiles a little. Sleep, Xingchen. You need it. And he will keep watch, to make sure nothing happens in the night.

From:

gentledawn

"I love you..." the words slip out as he drifts into a dreamless slumber. His exhaustion has made denying the truth impossible - especially when he hears Zichen's voice after so long.

From:

bringingdowndisaster

Song Lan lets out a shocked little breath hearing that. He's so take aback that he doesn't manage to respond until after Xingchen has already drifted off. I love you too... he whispers through their connection.

From:

gentledawn

A little smile tugs at Xingchen's lips even in his sleep. He has wanted to hear those words for years. Ages it feels like.

Some hours pass before he stirs, kissing Xue Yang's forehead.

From:

bringingdowndisaster

Xue Yang stirs slightly when he feels those lips against his forehead. He lets out a soft noise and burrows deeper into Xingchen's arms. Oh, what a wonderful way to wake up... Enveloped in his lover's arms, warm and safe. He even manages to forget about Song Lan and A-Qing, and just focus on the two of them for the moment.

From:

gentledawn

The sound is cute and Xingchen smiles sleepily, hugging his lover to his chest. There. Nice and safe. He stretches his legs under the covers and sighs.

Across the room, A-Qing peeks out of her blanket burrow and frowns. No. No waking up yet!

From:

bringingdowndisaster

Another pleased noise escapes. Being hugged closer makes him melt. He peeks up at Xingchen's pretty face and feels so lucky to have him. He'd almost completely fucked it all up, but he won't make the same mistake again.

Song Lan begins to stir as well, but he doesn't move much, nor does he open his eyes yet.