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[bringingdowndisaster]

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[gentledawn]

Shuanghua is a special blade. It can sever spirits as well as bodies. Xingchen won't emphasize what that means, but it really is a wonder that he is...whole...at all.

"I have some. I will use it." he smiles faintly and dabs at the scar with a wet cloth.

[bringingdowndisaster]

"I'll help you," Xue Yang murmurs against Xingchen's shoulder, giving the skin there a tender kiss.

[gentledawn]

The kiss makes his smile grow and he turns his head, nuzzling his nose against Xue Yang's cheek.

"You do help me."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"I want to help you more," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to Xingchen's cheek. It's the least he can do after everything...

[gentledawn]

"Then take care of yourself." Xingchen brushes their lips together shyly, "I am happiest when you are feeling your best."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang nuzzles their noses together and kisses him back. "Mm, alright. For you."

[gentledawn]

"For me." Xingchen repeats giddily, chuckling, "I love you, my A-Yang. You are dear to me. When you smile and feel your best, my heart is light."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"I love you too." Xue Yang lets out a soft, relieved sigh, nuzzling into his lover. "I love you so much..." Xiao Xingchen is so much better than he deserves, but he's never letting go of him. He wishes they could stay cuddled up like this in the bath forever...

[gentledawn]

Xingchen scrubs over Xue Yang's body, helping him get clean and warm. Then he snuggles him and breathes kisses against his temples.

"I'm not letting you go." he promises, "Does that suit you?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang lets out a shuddering breath. "Yes..." he murmurs, relief flooding his body.

[gentledawn]

"Were you afraid, love?" Xingchen rubs over Xue Yang's chest, "Because of me?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang lets out a soft, non-committal sound. "... Because of Song Lan," he finally murmurs.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen softens and presses their lips together gently. He pulls back and cups his Xue Yang's face between his hands.

"Sweetheart, can't you see that he is no threat to you? Not in my heart."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang pouts a little, but he leans into Xingchen's hands. "You kissed him..." he murmurs.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen brushes his thumb over those pouting lips.

"I love him, but that love is separate from my love for you. He has no say in this. In us."

[bringingdowndisaster]

That placates Xue Yang a little. He nuzzles into Xingchen, still pouting though. "I don't like sharing..." Though he'd be willing to try if there is no other choice.

[gentledawn]

"I know it isn't ideal. You deserve better." Xingchen's voice breaks and he kisses Xue Yang's pout, "But I promise to never neglect you. If you are feeling unloved, please tell me."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang lets out a soft sigh, suddenly feeling guilty. "I don't... I don't really deserve you," he murmurs, sinking deeper into the tub. His eyes are immediately drawn back to that horrid scar on Xingchen's neck. "I hurt you so much..."

[gentledawn]

"Stop that." Xingchen whispers hoarsely, his lips in a thin line, "What you did... You've learned. You regret it. You're doing everything in your power to make it better. I'm alive and we'll find a way to help Zichen. I don't want to spend the rest of my life angry or vengeful." his shoulders sag, "I love you. I died because I love you and I came back because I love you."

[bringingdowndisaster]

That does calm Xue Yang down a little, and it lessens some of the guilt. "I love you too," he whispers, "I love you so much. I'll never stop being sorry that I hurt you, but I... I trust that you want to move on."

He nuzzles into Xingchen's chest, chewing his lip thoughtfully. "...I'll look into ways to help Song Lan speak again." Unfortunately, that's likely to be much easier than getting Xiao Xingchen his eyesight back.

[gentledawn]

"I do want to move on." Xingchen insists, stroking his fingers through Xue Yang's hair and down his back, "Thank you. It will be easier to understand where he stands in all of this if he can speak." and Zichen will be less miserable that way.

"I promise we will work this out."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Mm. I want to look into ways to get you your eyesight back too," Xue Yang murmurs softly. He's not going to mention that he had considered cutting those eyes out of Song Lan's skull and give them back to Xingchen. He'd been stopped by the realization that Xingchen would've been very upset if he had woken up to that. That, and well, he's no Baoshan Sanren. He has no idea how to actually perform such a surgery.

[gentledawn]

"My... Xue Yang, you might be able to magically create a tongue, but eyes?" Xingchen shakes his head and hugs the man to his chest, "Don't worry about me. I made this choice; it wasn't like someone stole them from me. As long as my eyes help Zichen, I'm content."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"I don't think I can create a new tongue, no, but there might be other ways. When I was trying to... to revive you, I looked into ways of talking with the dead. I thought that... maybe if I could talk to you... but it didn't work. Probably because your soul was shattered..." Xue Yang looks down again before continuing, "but Song Lan is... his soul is intact. And he's conscious, but still technically dead, so maybe..."

He sighs and presses a kiss to Xingchen's shoulder. "You're too nice, Xingchen. I will still try to find a way."

[gentledawn]

"There's a chance it would work." Xingchen finishes for him, gathering Xue Yang against him and kissing his hair, "Let me be present when you try it. If it fails, I might have another idea." but it could be too far-fetched.

"Eat, sleep and get better, Xue Yang. That's all I ask of you. I won't have you killing yourself over my eyes."