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[bringingdowndisaster]

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[bringingdowndisaster]

"N-No. He, uh, doesn't need to eat, drink or sleep. He can, but he doesn't need to." And without a tongue, he'd probably not be able to taste anything anyway.

Song Lan stiffens a little, jaws clenching at the reminder of just how changed he is. How dead. He can tell that Xingchen is not a fierce corpse like him, no, everything about him tells Song Lan that his soulmate is alive. He's just not sure how.

[gentledawn]

"Sleeping would feel nice." Xingchen thinks anyway. Zichen's soul must be exhausted even if his body isn't. He hugs his soulmate a little tighter and leads him inside to a chair.

"Are you wondering about me?" he asks softly, sensing Zichen's confusion, "I refused to abide by Xue Yang's magic. Somehow. I brought myself back."

For Xue Yang. For Zichen. For A-Qing.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Song Lan does feel exhausted. In body and soul. He sits heavily on the chair and gives Xue Yang a somewhat questioning glance after Xingchen's explanation. He doesn't think Xingchen is lying, but he may not know the whole story.

"I tried to repair his soul," Xue Yang explains in a low voice, barely looking at Song Lan, "but... he could only come back if he wanted to."

[gentledawn]

No matter that Zichen doesn't need water, Xingchen brings him a cup anyway. Throats can become awfully dry even if someone isn't speaking. Then he kneels at his soulmate's feet and listens.

"I was too broken... I didn't know how to pull my soul back together." he touches the bandages around his neck, "But I knew I was needed and so I kept trying."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Song Lan does appreciate the gesture and takes the cup. He brushes his fingers over Xingchen's knuckles in quiet thanks. He drinks the water and puts the cup away as he listens to Xingchen explain. Once he's finished Song Lan takes his hand and writes, I'm glad you are here.

At least it feels more real now. With Song Lan awake, he can't really dismiss this as a dream or his crazed imagination. Xue Yang lets out a trembling sigh. Seeing the gentle affection between the two old friends (or had they been more?) makes an ugly sort of jealousy well up within him, but he tries to push it down.

[gentledawn]

He loves Zichen. Their love is innocent because they have no idea how else to express it, but the love is there - at least from Xiao Xingchen's point of view. Which is why he looks so moved when Zichen writes on his skin.

"I'll take care of you." he strokes over Zichen's hair.

Until he hears that sigh. It's a sigh that comes from the heart. Rising, he goes to Xue Yang and carefully seeks out his face, smoothing his hand over his cheek.

"Are you feeling alright?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

Song Lan has loved Xingchen since they started growing close all those years ago, but he had never wished to jeopardize their friendship by telling him. He regrets that now. Now he has no tongue to speak those words... And Xingchen has instead fallen in love with a murderer. Not that Song Lan truly blames him since he hadn't known who Xue Yang was for most of it, but it's obvious that the love is still there between them. He just blames himself for driving Xingchen into Xue Yang's arms.

Xue Yang lets out a relieved little sound when he's touched again, and leans into the touch to his cheek. He doesn't want to sour things with his jealousy so he just nods. "I'm tired," he says. Not untrue - despite his long nap, he still feels pretty exhausted.

[gentledawn]

His heart has room for two. Somehow he will communicate that to his Zichen...to his A-Yang. But emotions are too tender at the moment, so the best he can do is care for them.

One at a time.

Xue Yang strokes Xue Yang's cheek and frowns worriedly. The answer makes perfect sense and he presses his lips to the other man's forehead, checking him for a fever.

"Will you lay down for me? I need to find a soft bed for Zichen and then I will lay down too. We...need rest."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"We can... drag your bed into my room or the other way around," Xue Yang suggests. They had started sleeping together in Xue Yang's bed back then, and A-Qing had been given Xingchen's, but she's still hiding somewhere, and Xue Yang can imagine that Xingchen wouldn't want the three of them in separate rooms. They can figure out better sleeping arrangements later.

[gentledawn]

"A-Qing can rest with Zichen." Xingchen goes back to his soulmate and drops a kiss on his forehead, "She is a sweet girl, Zichen. If you like, you can put a pillow between you and her."

He can't leave A-Qing or Zichen alone with Xue Yang. That...might end violently, after all.

Slipping away from the two men, he comes back with the bed, dragging it into place beside Xue Yang's bed.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Song Lan takes Xingchen's hand and writes in his palm, She has been kind to me. A-Qing is such a sweet girl. And brave too, sticking around even after everything she'd witnessed...

As long as he gets to sleep with Xingchen, Xue Yang doesn't care much about how the other sleeping arrangements are made. With a tired sigh, he slumps into their bed.

[gentledawn]

He softens at those words and kisses Zichen's forehead again. Who could be cruel to his soulmate? Zichen is much too precious and Xingchen will look after him from here forward.

"Let me go get her." he slips off to alert A-Qing. She surprises him, only coming into the room because he and Zichen are present. Then she hurries to Zichen's side.

"Everyone is safe." he promises, moving to Xue Yang and resting a hand on his soft hair, "I'll sleep on the outside." so he will know if Xue Yang gets up.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Song Lan gives A-Qing what he hopes is a reassuring smile and gently strokes her hair. He'll power through the touch aversion to offer her some comfort.

Xue Yang barely looks at A-Qing as she enters the room, not wanting to see those - probably - accusing eyes. "Okay," he murmurs in response to Xingchen, moving closer to him.

[gentledawn]

A-Qing smiles back and wiggles under the covers of the bed. She isn't afraid to sleep with one of the Daozhangs. She knows Zichen isn't...alive...exactly, but so? Everyone is different and at least he's kind.

Xingchen lays down beside Xue Yang and strokes over the man's hair.

"You need rest. We all do. We'll think clearer with sleep."

[bringingdowndisaster]

It helps that A-Qing had kept him company, even when he wasn't able to respond to her, so he already feels comfortable around her. He gets into bed and lays down next to her, as a shield to protect if needed. He doubts he'll get much sleep. He doesn't exactly need it, but laying down still feels nice.

Xue Yang lets out a soft little sound and nuzzles into Xingchen's neck, arms wrapping around him. "Mm..."

[gentledawn]

Xingchen lays back and tries the trick he used, years ago, to contact Zichen even if they weren't side by side. After murmuring a spell, he reaches out to his soulmate's mind.

"Are you comfortable?" his arms curl around Xue Yang, promising to keep the man safe while he sleeps. A-Qing is already yawning and curling up.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang curls up in Xingchen's arms, snuggling into him as he quickly drifts off to sleep.

Song Lan had forgotten about the communication spell, and even if he had remembered - he would've assumed it wouldn't work on a dead thing like himself. So, imagine his surprise when he suddenly hears Xingchen's voice in his head.

So it does work on him... That's a relief. Now they can actually communicate with one another. Xingchen... Yes.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen kisses Xue Yang's head and rubs over his back. His heart swells at how much trust he is given and he promises himself and his A-Yang that he won't abuse it.

Then he discovers something else that is wonderful.

He can hear Zichen's voice. In his mind, at least. Smiling, he speaks to his love freely:

"You came back for me. How long have you been searching?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

It's such a great relief to be able to talk to Xingchen, even if it is only like this. At least now there is a line of communication, and he won't have to rely on writing in Xingchen's palm.

I did. I was searching since I left your Master's mountain. I wished to leave as soon as I woke up, but your Master insisted I stay until I had healed.

[gentledawn]

That was his thinking too! Poor Zichen deserves a better line of communication and this one is just their own. Maybe he is being selfish, but he likes not being overheard.

His Zichen belongs to him. Or...he did.

"You needed to heal. I don't want anyone to be like me, Zichen. I left the mountain too soon."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Song Lan frowns, guilt blooming in his chest. The fault is mine. I should have never told you to leave. I lashed out at the wrong person. I'm sorry, Xingchen. And he'll never stop being sorry. He hadn't meant what he'd said, not truly, but he had been so angry and in so much pain that he'd needed someone to take it out on. Poor Xingchen had been the only available target at the time.

[gentledawn]

"I made the choice, my Zichen. Don't blame yourself for being in pain. I've thought about that day a lot. I really should have stayed near you. I'm sorry." Xingchen bites his lip, feeling a rush of guilt too. Though the emotion does no good.

"I'm with you now. If you'll have me."

[bringingdowndisaster]

You have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong. Song Lan hurts looking at that blindfold, knowing that Xingchen had done that for him. Sacrificed so much... He doesn't feel deserving of it, but he knows that Xingchen - selfless as he is - would disagree.

I'm not going anywhere.

[gentledawn]

"I'm so glad you're back." even his mental voice is sounding sleepy. Xue Yang is warm in his arms and he is exhausted. His body isn't strong yet.

"I feel like I'm dreaming..."

[bringingdowndisaster]

I am too. He notices the sleepiness and smiles a little. Sleep, Xingchen. You need it. And he will keep watch, to make sure nothing happens in the night.