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[bringingdowndisaster]

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[gentledawn]

Xingchen scrubs over Xue Yang's body, helping him get clean and warm. Then he snuggles him and breathes kisses against his temples.

"I'm not letting you go." he promises, "Does that suit you?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang lets out a shuddering breath. "Yes..." he murmurs, relief flooding his body.

[gentledawn]

"Were you afraid, love?" Xingchen rubs over Xue Yang's chest, "Because of me?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang lets out a soft, non-committal sound. "... Because of Song Lan," he finally murmurs.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen softens and presses their lips together gently. He pulls back and cups his Xue Yang's face between his hands.

"Sweetheart, can't you see that he is no threat to you? Not in my heart."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang pouts a little, but he leans into Xingchen's hands. "You kissed him..." he murmurs.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen brushes his thumb over those pouting lips.

"I love him, but that love is separate from my love for you. He has no say in this. In us."

[bringingdowndisaster]

That placates Xue Yang a little. He nuzzles into Xingchen, still pouting though. "I don't like sharing..." Though he'd be willing to try if there is no other choice.

[gentledawn]

"I know it isn't ideal. You deserve better." Xingchen's voice breaks and he kisses Xue Yang's pout, "But I promise to never neglect you. If you are feeling unloved, please tell me."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang lets out a soft sigh, suddenly feeling guilty. "I don't... I don't really deserve you," he murmurs, sinking deeper into the tub. His eyes are immediately drawn back to that horrid scar on Xingchen's neck. "I hurt you so much..."

[gentledawn]

"Stop that." Xingchen whispers hoarsely, his lips in a thin line, "What you did... You've learned. You regret it. You're doing everything in your power to make it better. I'm alive and we'll find a way to help Zichen. I don't want to spend the rest of my life angry or vengeful." his shoulders sag, "I love you. I died because I love you and I came back because I love you."

[bringingdowndisaster]

That does calm Xue Yang down a little, and it lessens some of the guilt. "I love you too," he whispers, "I love you so much. I'll never stop being sorry that I hurt you, but I... I trust that you want to move on."

He nuzzles into Xingchen's chest, chewing his lip thoughtfully. "...I'll look into ways to help Song Lan speak again." Unfortunately, that's likely to be much easier than getting Xiao Xingchen his eyesight back.

[gentledawn]

"I do want to move on." Xingchen insists, stroking his fingers through Xue Yang's hair and down his back, "Thank you. It will be easier to understand where he stands in all of this if he can speak." and Zichen will be less miserable that way.

"I promise we will work this out."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Mm. I want to look into ways to get you your eyesight back too," Xue Yang murmurs softly. He's not going to mention that he had considered cutting those eyes out of Song Lan's skull and give them back to Xingchen. He'd been stopped by the realization that Xingchen would've been very upset if he had woken up to that. That, and well, he's no Baoshan Sanren. He has no idea how to actually perform such a surgery.

[gentledawn]

"My... Xue Yang, you might be able to magically create a tongue, but eyes?" Xingchen shakes his head and hugs the man to his chest, "Don't worry about me. I made this choice; it wasn't like someone stole them from me. As long as my eyes help Zichen, I'm content."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"I don't think I can create a new tongue, no, but there might be other ways. When I was trying to... to revive you, I looked into ways of talking with the dead. I thought that... maybe if I could talk to you... but it didn't work. Probably because your soul was shattered..." Xue Yang looks down again before continuing, "but Song Lan is... his soul is intact. And he's conscious, but still technically dead, so maybe..."

He sighs and presses a kiss to Xingchen's shoulder. "You're too nice, Xingchen. I will still try to find a way."

[gentledawn]

"There's a chance it would work." Xingchen finishes for him, gathering Xue Yang against him and kissing his hair, "Let me be present when you try it. If it fails, I might have another idea." but it could be too far-fetched.

"Eat, sleep and get better, Xue Yang. That's all I ask of you. I won't have you killing yourself over my eyes."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang would happily die for Xingchen, but he doesn't say that. Instead he cuddles closer to him and kisses him. "What idea is that?" he asks, curious now.

[gentledawn]

No. He wouldn't want that. Something in him would always be broken if Xue Yang did that.

"Since I can speak with him mind to mind, maybe there is a spell to make that...audible to everyone?" he flushes at the kiss and smiles shyly.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang looks thoughtful for a moment. "Mm... maybe. I would have to look into it." It's definitely something to consider at least!

[gentledawn]

"Will you?" Xingchen traces over one of Xue Yang's ears, "For me?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Xiao Xingchen... I'd do anything for you." Xiao Xingchen could ask him to bring him the moon and he'd find a way. There is absolutely nothing he wouldn't do for him. Nothing he wouldn't sacrifice.

[gentledawn]

"I won't ever ask you to do the impossible or to risk your life." Xingchen speaks sternly, but he hugs Xue Yang tighter, shuddering, "Your death wouldn't make me happy."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang is quiet for a moment and snuggles deeper into Xingchen's arms. "...I know." It's not like he wants to die, but he would, without thought, if it would save Xiao Xingchen.

[gentledawn]

"Please remember that." Xingchen pleads, gasping when his eyes...ache. Oh he can't cry again, but just imagining Xue Yang...dead... Imagining days without his voice and his soft touch...

No. That isn't acceptable.