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[bringingdowndisaster]

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[gentledawn]

Xingchen keeps himself tucked against Xue Yang no matter how he moves. At times he hugs the other man, burying his face against his neck or his chest. Then he gives a small sigh and relaxes again. It feels good to be able to rest.

He hadn't been able to do that as a spirit. The images he had witnessed tore at his heart much too deeply for him to find peace.

Murmuring something in reply - the words are garbled by sleep - he tries to answer. Each time Xue Yang had talked to his body, he had tried to answer before too. It's a habit now - for his soul, at least - and his forehead furrows as if he worries he won't be understood.

[bringingdowndisaster]

The murmurs and the way Xingchen stays curled up against him soothes him. Knowing that Xingchen still wants to be close, even in his sleep settles some of his anxiety. And as promised, Xue Yang doesn't leave. He holds Xingchen for as long as he sleeps for, unable to sleep himself, but he's not bored for a second. He never wants to tear his eyes away from Xiao Xingchen, alive and whole and in his arms again.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen wakes after more than a few hours. He had been exhausted! Stretching, he senses Xue Yang is near. Still. Has he been holding him the entire time? His cheeks gain a little color and he tentatively touches the other man's face.

"Xue Yang...?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang is still awake, his forehead resting against Xingchen's as he watches his pretty face. He smiles warmly when the other man stirs. "I'm here," he murmurs reassuringly, "I've been here this whole time." He's never leaving his Daozhang. Never ever.

[gentledawn]

He feels the pressure and he makes a soft sound, stroking Xue Yang's cheek and reminding himself of his handsome - and surprisingly sweet - face. This is a face he could kiss for the rest of his life.

And he will.

"Did you rest at all?" he presses their lips together before the other man can respond, wrapping Xue Yang in his arms.

[bringingdowndisaster]

The kiss makes him melt immediately, and he sinks deeper into Xingchen's arms. "I had to watch over you," he murmurs, pressing his lips back to Xingchen's. "Have to keep you safe..." Just like he'd kept Xingchen's soul and body safe for all those long months. He would have done it for as long as it would've taken.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen wraps around him and holds him like he has wanted to hold him for a year. Breathing is easier like this and he smiles at the sound of Xue Yang's voice.

"I'm my biggest threat, A-Yang, and I've made you a promise." a promise he will keep, "I want you to rest, alright? Close your eyes. I know you're exhausted. You can sleep for a few hours and then we need to figure out food."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"I'm... I'm afraid I'll wake up, and this has just been a dream," he admits in a low voice. It wouldn't be the first time he's dreamt of Xiao Xingchen waking up. It's never felt this real before, sure, but that doesn't make the nagging fear go away.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen presses another kiss to Xue Yang's lips, lingering for a moment. He knows the other man is literally worn thin. He needs rest. Desperately. He lays a hand over his lover's forehead and uses a spell to knock Xue Yang, safely, unconscious.

"I love you. I will be here."

[bringingdowndisaster]

The spell immediately takes effect as Xue Yang is not expecting it and has no defense against it. He sleeps in Xingchen's arms for several hours. The spell eventually wears off, but Xue Yang is so tired that he sleeps for longer anyway. When he does finally wake up, he feels groggy, but not as exhausted as before.

"Mnnn... Xingchen?" he murmurs, eyes peeking up at the other man, feeling warm and relieved to see his face.

[gentledawn]

He stays put...save for a few moments where he finds A-Qing. It doesn't take long when he calls for her. The poor girl is terrified and he spends some time embracing her and reassuring her. Then he sends her to the market with money he had hidden from everyone.

Now he's glad he did.

Then he returns to Xue Yang and pulls the poor man into his arms. When at last his lover stirs, he kisses him tenderly.

"Hello, love."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang sinks deeper into Xingchen's arms, clinging to him. "You're here," he murmurs, relieved. It hadn't been a dream. Xingchen really is alive again, really is back in his arms. He presses as close as he can possibly get, but even that isn't enough. He wants to crawl into Xingchen's chest and stay there, right next to his heart, never separated from him ever again.

[gentledawn]

"Of course I am. I promised." Xingchen hugs him as tight as he dares, kissing the crown of his head, "I've got you." and he is quite determined to never let go. To never leave. Not as long as he is needed.

"I'm sorry I had to use that spell on you, but you were exhausted." he rubs over Xue Yang's back, "Food will be here soon."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang hadn't even realized that Xingchen had used a spell on him, but he's soon distracted by his next words. "It will?" Confused, he wonders if somehow, Xingchen had sent Song Lan off to buy food...

[gentledawn]

"Mmhm." Xingchen smiles a little at the confusion, "I found A-Qing. She never left; I figured she would be hiding." and that girl is incredibly strong and adaptable. It makes him sad that she has had to learn both skills.

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Oh." So she'd been around this whole time? "Is she mad at me?" He can only imagine that she is. And probably terrified too. Maybe he can apologize to her...

[gentledawn]

"She's a brave girl." Xingchen is touched by A-Qing's loyalty; she has been keeping watch in case Xue Yang did manage to bring him back and she has been good to Zichen. When possible.

"I think she's scared of you." he admits, "You've...lost yourself. I left you in pain. I'm sorry."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Oh..." She really is. Xue Yang is glad that he hadn't gone after her - he's not sure what he might have done. "Y-Yeah, of course she's scared, she saw... she saw everything." He glances up at Xingchen and frowns. "It's not your fault. I-I hurt you. But I won't do it again. I promise!" He hugs Xingchen tighter to himself. He's never letting go of this man again.

[gentledawn]

"I spent time calming her." Xingchen reassures, hearing the guilt in Xue Yang's voice, "I didn't know she was fibbing." he smiles a little before his expression falls.

He can't exactly argue with Xue Yang, but the desperation to do better is met with a warm hug.

"Xue Yang... A-Yang..." he murmurs soothingly, "You had so much hate and bitterness in your heart. I want to help you find peace."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"I didn't either..." Xue Yang murmurs. He had had his suspicions in the beginning, but her acting had been so good that eventually he had just fully believed that she was blind. She'd tricked him up until the very end. He can admit that he finds it admirable.

He snuggles deeper into Xingchen's arms. "I just want to be with you... always," he murmurs softly.

[gentledawn]

"I don't mind if she's blind or she can see. At least, however, with her sight, she is safer." Xingchen had found it surprising and a little funny when she confessed the truth. So they had all been acting for different reasons.

He hears a door open and close - near the kitchen, he thinks - and he smiles a little. But his attention is drawn back to Xue Yang and he kisses the man's forehead.

"I want you with me always."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Mmm..." He hears the door too and can only assume that it's A-Qing. Song Lan usually doesn't come into the house unless Xue Yang tells him to.

Those words are reassuring at least, though it's definitely going to take some time to stop being afraid that he's going to lose Xingchen again.

"Should I... talk to her?" he asks hesitantly.

[gentledawn]

"After we eat." Xingchen cautions. Full bellies will make the world seem kinder. He uses his hands to guide himself to Xue Yang's lips, kissing him slowly.

"Mm A-Yang, will you help me cook?" he thinks he can do it, but extra help cutting won't hurt.

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Okay," Xue Yang murmurs before melting into the kiss. It further soothes his anxieties.

"Y-Yeah, of course! You probably shouldn't... I mean, you've got to be stiff still, right?" He frowns. "Let me do it instead."

[gentledawn]

He strokes Xue Yang's cheek, smiling softly at the worry in his voice. It's...nice. Yet he doesn't want him to fuss too much.

"That's why I need your help." he sits up to prove that he can move, "Let's work together, hm? Won't that be nicer?"