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[bringingdowndisaster]

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[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang anxiously watches Xingchen sit up, but of course, he'd been able to walk before so sitting isn't an issue. Xue Yang just can't help but to fuss.

He sits up as well and takes Xingchen's hand. "Okay," he finally agrees.

[gentledawn]

He feels his hand taken and he smiles warmly. Xue Yang is given one more kiss - a little clumsily - before Xingchen moves to the edge of the bed and slowly stands. The first time he had done that, he had been dizzy.

"I bet you're starving." he tugs on Xue Yang's hand and walks to the kitchen.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang smiles a little and kisses Xingchen's hand. Some anxiety returns when he watches Xingchen stand, so he holds on and makes himself ready to support him if needed. Xingchen manages fine on his own though, much to Xue Yang's relief.

"Mm, I guess," he says as he follows into the kitchen. Honestly, he's had very little in the way of an appetite during all of this time.

[gentledawn]

The little kiss fills him with warmth and he continues to hold onto Xue Yang as he makes his way to the kitchen. A-Qing has bolted off again - he figured she would - but there is fresh produce on the counter.

"Ah she did a good job." he murmurs and chuckles, "May I have my hand back, A-Yang?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang hesitates for a moment, but he does let go of Xingchen's hand. He makes sure to stay close though.

"Mm, it's all good quality," he says as he asseses the produce A-Qing has brought back.

[gentledawn]

He notices the hesitation and offers, quietly: "You can rest against my back. I may not be warm, but if it helps...?"

Setting out the vegetables, he nods approvingly.

"They will taste good." he fills a pot with water and then adds rice so that it can begin cooking on the stove.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang immediately wraps his arms around Xingchen from behind and nuzzles against his shoulder and neck. Xiao Xingchen is going to have to deal with a very clingy barnacle for a while!

He watches Xingchen cook over his shoulder and hums in agreement. He keeps an eye on things and makes sure that Xingchen doesn't hurt himself in any way.

[gentledawn]

He loves his clingy barnacle! Having Xue Yang with him gives him the strength to cook a nice meal - though he does take his time cutting into the vegetables. He wants to keep all of his fingers.

Once everything is cooking, he turns and embraces Xue Yang to his chest.

"I'll get you candy the next time we go out."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang brightens at that and snuggles into Xingchen's chest. "I kept the last piece of candy you gave me..." he murmurs. He hadn't been able to bear the thought of eating it.

Everything he'd had left of Xiao Xingchen had to be saved. Which reminds him, "I have your sword too... if... if you want it back."

He can imagine it might be awkward for Xingchen considering what Xue Yang had tricked him into doing with it, and the fact that he had then used it to take his own life.

[gentledawn]

His lips find the bridge of Xue Yang's nose and he kisses the soft skin.

"That candy has gone bad. I'll get you fresh pieces." Xingchen smiles until the subject changes. Then he freezes and shakily touches the bandages around his neck.

"...l-later."

Shuanghua is dear to him, but he knows he can't trust his own blade. Still, a sword is a sword and he will use Shuanghua to his best ability.

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Mm," Xue Yang agrees. Now that Xingchen is back, he can throw the candy away.

He feels a stab of guilt seeing that reaction to the mention of Shuanghua. "...I'm sorry," he whispers softly. "I... I cleaned it, and I've kept it polished..." He's taken better care of Shuanghua than Jiangzai.

[gentledawn]

The sound vibrates through him and Xingchen is able to breathe again. He trembles at the mention of Shuanghua and suddenly his heart-beat and his breathing are much too loud. Focusing on Xue Yang's voice brings him back to the kitchen, back to his lover's arms, but his legs are definitely weak.

"I n-need to sit." he leans against Xue Yang, frowning, "I know you've... You've helped keep me here."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang's frown deepens and he wraps an arm around Xingchen in a reassuring hold as he leads him towards one of the chairs and helps him sit down. He then kneels down by him, resting his upper body on his lap to remain close.

"I'm here," he murmurs gently, "I'll always be here..."

[gentledawn]

Xingchen sighs when he is seated, his fatigue catching up with him. It has been a long year of being cold and still. But he smiles nonetheless at the warm body laying across his lap. His fingers toy with Xue Yang's hair and trace over his ear.

"You can make sure our food doesn't burn." he tries for some levity, "I'm just tired, love. I need to build up my stamina again."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang turns his head and gently kisses Xingchen's wrist. "I know. I will help you... anything you need." He just has a very hard time bringing himself to not be in constant physical contact with Xingchen. Some part of him can't help but to worry that he'll somehow disappear if he can't touch him. Or like he's going to wake up and find that it's just been a dream.

[gentledawn]

He bends down and embraces Xue Yang to him, smiling against his hair. Finally, he can offer comfort like this. He isn't...formless...

"You need to take it easy too." he kisses the side of Xue Yang's head, "Are you afraid, love? I promise I am fully in control of my body. Though I remember being just a spirit. It's strange."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang holds on tightly to Xingchen, feeling further reassured by his embrace being returned. "...Mm, I just... I guess I worry. That you're going to... go away again." He can't bring himself to say the word "die".

[gentledawn]

Xingchen feels the desperation and he nuzzles any part of Xue Yang he can easily reach, stroking over the man's hair.

"I'm choosing to be here. And you know I'm not easy to defeat even in battle."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang nuzzles into Xingchen's lap and against his stomach. "I know..." Had they actually fought with their swords back then, Xue Yang certainly would have lost.

[gentledawn]

His features soften and he smiles a little more. Xue Yang is so...soft. He has to protect him. His body, his mind and his heart.

"Your suffering is over. We're leaving it in the past today."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Grief has definitely softened a lot of those sharp edges. Finding out what it's like to be without Xiao Xingchen... how awful, how lonely... it's made him very determined to be the best version of himself that he can possibly be so that Xingchen will never ever leave him again.

He sniffles a little and clings a little closer. "I love you," he whispers.

[gentledawn]

When Xue Yang tries to be his best self, Xingchen finds him irresistible. The sniffling has him kissing Xue Yang's forehead, lingering so the other man knows he isn't alone. Never again.

He smiles at the whispered words, his heart skipping a beat.

"And I love you. That's why I'm going to take care of you."

[bringingdowndisaster]

It's definitely going to take some time for Xue Yang to stop worrying - if he ever fully will. He's still not entirely certain that he's not dreaming.

"I'm gonna take care of you too," Xue Yang murmurs, turning his head to nuzzle against Xingchen's hand and arm.

[gentledawn]

"Mm..." Xingchen kisses over Xue Yang's face slowly, "Can you take the pot off of the fire, love? I don't want our dinner to burn and you definitely need to eat." he smiles a little, "By taking care of yourself, you are taking care of me too."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang hesitates, but of course, Xingchen is right. He reluctantly separates himself from the other man and takes the pot off the fire as requested, all the while he keeps stealing glances at Xingchen.

He grabs three bowls and pours the stew into them before bringing them to the table. "Maybe you... you have to find A-Qing," he murmurs. He doubts that she'll want to eat with him present, but he doesn't want her to go hungry.