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[bringingdowndisaster]

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[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang doesn't have much of an appetite, but he eats enough to hopefully please Xingchen. He doesn't want to worry him.

Song Lan makes do with tea. He doesn't need to eat so there's no point in wasting food that would be better served by filling the bellies of Xingchen and A-Qing. He's the first to get up and start clearing the table when everyone is finished eating.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen listens intently to Xue Yang eating and nods, happy with the amount. He eats as much as he can too - more to set a good example than out of hunger. His body just...isn't accustomed to these small tasks anymore.

"Let me help, Zichen." he gets up and gathers what he can, bringing it to the wash basin. Then he touches Zichen's hand, speaking to him mentally:

"My throat hurts. Would you mind examining my...neck...for me?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang is glad to see Xingchen eating. He knows it'll probably be a while before he starts to feel hunger normally again, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't eat. His body needs the energy.

Song Lan fills the basin with water and looks up when Xingchen touches his hand. He frowns a little. Of course. We can do so once we're done here. He doesn't want A-Qing to have to see as he's sure that the scar must be pretty gruesome.

[gentledawn]

He knows he needs to push forward even if he feels like resting. That's the only way his body will strengthen and remember how he used to be.

The pain concerns him, however. Enough so that he decides to go to Zichen. Xue Yang will only worry himself to death - and he isn't far from dying as it is - and A-Qing is much too young to see...what she has seen. He doesn't want to add to her pain.

Besides Zichen might have some ideas about the scarring.

"Thank you."

Xingchen helps clean the dishes and set them back where they are meant to be. Then he smiles and says:

"I will bring in some water so if anyone wants to bathe, they can. Zichen, will you help me?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang can't help but to cast anxious glances at Xingchen and Song Lan. They're just washing dishes together, but he still can't help the jealousy just seeing them together. Can't help feeling insecure even though he's the one who is with Xingchen.

He doesn't want to be controlling though, so he doesn't say anything. Maybe a bath could be nice...

So as to not let Xue Yang know that they have an alternate way of communicating (oh yes he can feel his gaze on them), Song Lan takes Xingchen's hand and writes the character for "yes" into his palm with his finger.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen can feel the tension and the anxiety. He will show Xue Yang he has nothing to worry about soon, but... This must come first.

The answer on the palm of his hand earns a smile and he leads the way to the well, breathing out a sigh that wheezes slightly. Then, he unties the bandage around his neck, revealing the gash, the scar, he had caused with Shuanghua.

"How is it?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang squirms anxiously on his chair, but manages to not follow the two of them. He steals a glance at A-Qing instead, but he soon looks away. He has no idea how to even begin talking to her.

Song Lan follows out to the well and watches carefully as Xingchen undoes the bandage around his throat. He eyebrows furrow and he shudders a little at the sight of the nasty scar. He remembers all too well how Xingchen had taken Shuanghua to his own throat and sliced it open. It's not a pleasant memory.

It looks healed to me. Perhaps not as healed as it should be by now... Your body might not have caught up entirely.

[gentledawn]

A-Qing is a bit more brazen, narrowing her eyes at him.

"What are you up to anyway? You know they won't let you do what you did before, right?"

Xingchen visibly relaxes at the news he is...healing. Albeit slowly. He rests a hand gently on Zichen's chest, his legs feeling shaky with relief.

"Zichen... My Zichen..."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang glares back at A-Qing. "Are you an idiot as well as a liar?" he snaps, "You think I would've spent all that time trying to bring him back if I wanted to do the same shit all over again?"

Seeing Xingchen like this, Song Lan can't help wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into a warm embrace. He strokes a gentle hand over Xingchen's hair. My Xingchen...

[gentledawn]

"I'm the liar?" A-Qing huffs out a laugh, "If you did, you would be crazy. You know he loves you, right? I don't know why, but it would suck if you ruined it."

Xingchen calms and curls into Zichen's hold. He rests his cheek against his soulmate's shoulder and smiles faintly.

"Are you in pain? I will do all I can for you."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang scowls, but he can't exactly argue with that. He hates how weak his voice sounds when he speaks again, "I know." Xiao Xingchen still loves him, somehow, and he's blessed to have been given a second chance. A chance to not fuck things up.

I am not. I feel very little pain on the whole. Probably another effect of being technically dead. He hadn't even felt it when Xue Yang had pushed those nails into his head.

[gentledawn]

Damn. He's serious. She had almost hoped he wasn't. A-Qing sits back and sighs loudly.

"You're in deep."

Xingchen tilts his head and kisses Zichen's cheek, saddened by the coolness of his skin.

"I will find a way to bring you back too." he rests their heads together, "You deserve to be alive."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang makes an ugly face at her. "Yeah, no shit."

Song Lan smiles a little, touched by Xingchen's words though he doesn't think it's possible to make him more alive than he already is. It's alright, Xingchen. I am alive enough to hold you. That is what matters.

[gentledawn]

"I'm still watching you." just so they are clear, "Daozhang Lan listens to me too."

So there.

"I want the best for you, love." Xingchen hugs Zichen for a little longer before pulling back. He reties the bandages around his neck and then pulls up the bucket from the well.

[bringingdowndisaster]

A huff leaves Xue Yang's lips. "I know that too." As if he can forget the warning glares that Song Lan had given him!

As do I for you. Song Lan lets a soft sigh escape when Xingchen pulls away, but they can't stay hugging all day... So he follows Xingchen back inside and to the washroom where the bathtub is located.

[gentledawn]

"Don't be a criminal and you might be happy." A-Qing murmurs, looking away from him stubbornly.

Xingchen carries water to the tub, emptying the bucket into it. He can warm it later either with fire or through his Golden Core. When the tub is full, he thanks Zichen with another kiss - this time a light one to his lips.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang gives her another nasty glare, but he doesn't say anything else. He does perk up when he hears Xingchen and Song Lan finally entering the house. Not wanting to sit around in awkward silence with A-Qing, he gets up and makes his way to the washroom.

Unfortunately, he arrives just in time to see Xingchen kiss Song Lan. He freezes in the doorway, immediately feeling humiliated by the tears that spring to his eyes. Without a word, he turns on his heel and runs out of there.

So much happens at the same time. Xingchen leans in to kiss him just as Song Lan spots Xue Yang out of the corner of his eye. Oh no. Xingchen...

[gentledawn]

His ears perk at the sound of running feet and his breath catches. Xue Yang? It must have been. Xingchen squeezes Zichen's hand, speaking quickly:

"I need to go after him. Stay here."

Then he turns and, despite being blind, runs too. He knows the house and the town well enough to navigate it in the pitch black. His heart leads him in the right direction and he tries to grab some part of Xue Yang.

A hand, an arm, around his waist... Anything.

"Xue Yang!"

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang doesn't know where he's going, just that he needs to get away. The fear of being left behind claws at him, eating away at his heart. He finally runs outside, having almost left the coffin home's courtyard when Xiao Xingchen catches up to him.

Maybe he has no right to be angry, but he can't help it. He feels Xingchen's hand gripping around his wrist and he stops, turning around to face him with tears running down his face. "What?!" he snaps, but his voice trembles, "I get it, you've got your... your perfect little family back so you don't need me anymore, right?!"

[gentledawn]

The words are sharper than a blade and they bleed him of the warmth he had only recently rediscovered. Yet he doesn't let go. Xue Yang is mistaken! So very mistaken.

"I need you." he states lowly, solemnly, "Xue Yang, you're the reason I came back! I love you." Xingchen swallows roughly, shaking, "I love Zichen too. You're both...my heart. My reason to live and breathe." he touches his chest, "He knows I love you and he has promised to help us."

[bringingdowndisaster]

More tears run down his face. He doesn't want to hear that Xingchen loves Song Lan too. Maybe it's selfish, but he wants to be the only one occupying that space in Xingchen's heart. At the same time, he can't imagine leaving Xingchen. He loves him too much. And the spiteful part of him can't let Song Lan win. He'd probably be happy if he left so he can have Xingchen for himself. Well, fuck that.

Without a word, Xue Yang clasps Xingchen's face between his hands and pulls him into a hard, deep kiss. He hopes Song Lan is watching.

[gentledawn]

He is crying too, red tears running down his cheeks. His blindfold is stained again, but it hardly matters. His entire focus is on Xue Yang; on every breath he takes; on how he moves and reacts. Please don't leave. Xingchen is fine getting on his knees if it means Xue Yang will listen.

The hands on his face startle him and he barely has a chance to inhale before he is being kissed like he has never been kissed before. He moans before he realizes he has made a sound and his arms wrap around Xue Yang, holding him as close as he can manage.

[bringingdowndisaster]

The desire from this morning flares up again, but now it's tinged with possessiveness. Xue Yang presses Xingchen up against the nearest wall and just kisses him deeper, licking into his mouth and practically devouring that mouth with his own. He wants Xingchen to remember all that they had shared and that he is the one who knows how to make him feel good...

[gentledawn]

Xingchen whimpers at the hard press of the wall against his back. He scrambles to hold onto Xue Yang, to learn how to kiss so deeply and so well. The taste of the other man is on his tongue and he sucks on Xue Yang's lips as if they are candies.

"A-Yang..." he gasps and trembles under the force of the love...the passion...he feels for the man, "Don't go."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang moans, feeling so incredibly worked up from how Xingchen kisses him back. It bolsters his confidence. Xingchen must still want him! They'd had many intimate encounters before Xingchen's death, but Xue Yang had never felt quite so ravenous for him before. He'd lost him once... Never again.

"Never..." he murmurs as he attaches his lips to Xingchen's neck, immediately starting to suck bruises into the pale skin. "Don't leave me either... Xingchen... I love you, I love you so much."