Xingchen sighs when he is seated, his fatigue catching up with him. It has been a long year of being cold and still. But he smiles nonetheless at the warm body laying across his lap. His fingers toy with Xue Yang's hair and trace over his ear.
"You can make sure our food doesn't burn." he tries for some levity, "I'm just tired, love. I need to build up my stamina again."
Xue Yang turns his head and gently kisses Xingchen's wrist. "I know. I will help you... anything you need." He just has a very hard time bringing himself to not be in constant physical contact with Xingchen. Some part of him can't help but to worry that he'll somehow disappear if he can't touch him. Or like he's going to wake up and find that it's just been a dream.
He bends down and embraces Xue Yang to him, smiling against his hair. Finally, he can offer comfort like this. He isn't...formless...
"You need to take it easy too." he kisses the side of Xue Yang's head, "Are you afraid, love? I promise I am fully in control of my body. Though I remember being just a spirit. It's strange."
Xue Yang holds on tightly to Xingchen, feeling further reassured by his embrace being returned. "...Mm, I just... I guess I worry. That you're going to... go away again." He can't bring himself to say the word "die".
Xue Yang nuzzles into Xingchen's lap and against his stomach. "I know..." Had they actually fought with their swords back then, Xue Yang certainly would have lost.
Grief has definitely softened a lot of those sharp edges. Finding out what it's like to be without Xiao Xingchen... how awful, how lonely... it's made him very determined to be the best version of himself that he can possibly be so that Xingchen will never ever leave him again.
He sniffles a little and clings a little closer. "I love you," he whispers.
When Xue Yang tries to be his best self, Xingchen finds him irresistible. The sniffling has him kissing Xue Yang's forehead, lingering so the other man knows he isn't alone. Never again.
He smiles at the whispered words, his heart skipping a beat.
"And I love you. That's why I'm going to take care of you."
"Mm..." Xingchen kisses over Xue Yang's face slowly, "Can you take the pot off of the fire, love? I don't want our dinner to burn and you definitely need to eat." he smiles a little, "By taking care of yourself, you are taking care of me too."
Xue Yang hesitates, but of course, Xingchen is right. He reluctantly separates himself from the other man and takes the pot off the fire as requested, all the while he keeps stealing glances at Xingchen.
He grabs three bowls and pours the stew into them before bringing them to the table. "Maybe you... you have to find A-Qing," he murmurs. He doubts that she'll want to eat with him present, but he doesn't want her to go hungry.
Xingchen keeps his senses attuned to Xue Yang, smiling softly as the man does as he asked him to do. Rising from the seat, he takes a bowl and bends down to kiss Xue Yang's cheek. The thoughtfulness is noticed.
"I'll bring this to her." he smiles a little more, "Sit down and eat, love. I won't be long."
Xue Yang frowns, very reluctant to let Xingchen go, but he knows that A-Qing would probably run at the sight of him, so it's for the best to let Xingchen go to her on his own.
He's tense the whole time Xingchen is away for though, and when he comes back he'll find that Xue Yang hasn't even touched his food.
Xingchen hurries, sensing that Xue Yang won't eat until he returns. So stubborn! He finds A-Qing and makes sure she has her stew and something to drink. Then he wraps a blanket around her shoulders and promises to visit her before bedtime.
Then he returns to Xue Yang, reaching out to stroke the man's hair.
Xue Yang taps his foot and leg anxiously as he waits for Xingchen to return. When he hears his footsteps again he relaxes and lets out a sigh of relief.
He leans into the touch, soaking up all the affection. "Mm..." he agrees as he starts to dig in.
Xingchen hears Xue Yang eating and smiles to himself. That just makes him want to try harder with his meal. While the food is good, it's like his body forgot how to be hungry.
"It's good. I'm just... I don't know. I should be ravenous. Maybe that will come in time."
Xue Yang chews his bottom lip thoughtfully. "When I realized your soul was shattered, I tried to repair it, but... I think that could only happen if you wanted to return to your body." He reaches out over the table and takes Xingchen's hand gently in his. "Your body... it's been dead for over a year, but you're not. I think it'll... it'll be some time before your body catches up, you know? And remembers it's supposed to be alive."
He nods slowly, a little unsure how souls work. He had been...torn. Too torn to make a decision in that state until...he did. Then he had woken up in the coffin.
"I was hurt and scared. I didn't know how to pull myself together." Xingchen lifts his head at the touch and turns his hand so their fingers can lace together, "Mm that makes sense. I'll need help regulating my temperature for awhile too...if you don't mind."
Xue Yang nods, expression softening when their fingers are laced together. He lifts their intertwined hands and kisses Xingchen's knuckles.
"You probably shouldn't have been able to stick around like you did, but something... something must've kept your consciousness anchored to your soul." His expression softens further. "I'll keep you warm." Of course he could never mind doing that.
Xingchen goes very still at the kiss and then smiles warmly. His A-Yang is terribly sweet! He knows what kept his consciousness anchored and there really isn't a reason to keep it from Xue Yang.
"I love you." he states plainly, "Leaving someone I love to writhe in agony goes against my soul."
Xue Yang feels warm hearing that. Xiao Xingchen had already said that he'd come back for him, but to have it further reinforced makes him feel so much better.
"I brought it on myself," he murmurs, rubbing his thumb over Xingchen's knuckles. He turns his hand over to kiss his palm, where a faint scar from where Xingchen had cut himself on Fuxue can be seen. "But I'm... I'm so happy you came back."
"I'm staying with you." Xingchen softens at the kiss and raises his hand to stroke Xue Yang's cheek, "Eat, love, and rest. You're not alone." and he is sure they can take care of each other.
After they are strong again, poor Zichen can be awoken. If his soulmate wants revenge, Xingchen realizes he needs to be strong enough to stop him.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-25 11:05 am (UTC)"You can make sure our food doesn't burn." he tries for some levity, "I'm just tired, love. I need to build up my stamina again."
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Date: 2023-04-25 02:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-04-26 01:23 am (UTC)"You need to take it easy too." he kisses the side of Xue Yang's head, "Are you afraid, love? I promise I am fully in control of my body. Though I remember being just a spirit. It's strange."
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Date: 2023-04-26 07:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-04-26 10:26 pm (UTC)"I'm choosing to be here. And you know I'm not easy to defeat even in battle."
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Date: 2023-04-27 06:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-04-27 11:15 am (UTC)"Your suffering is over. We're leaving it in the past today."
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Date: 2023-04-27 06:37 pm (UTC)He sniffles a little and clings a little closer. "I love you," he whispers.
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Date: 2023-04-27 10:04 pm (UTC)He smiles at the whispered words, his heart skipping a beat.
"And I love you. That's why I'm going to take care of you."
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Date: 2023-04-28 07:12 am (UTC)"I'm gonna take care of you too," Xue Yang murmurs, turning his head to nuzzle against Xingchen's hand and arm.
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Date: 2023-04-28 11:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-04-28 08:13 pm (UTC)He grabs three bowls and pours the stew into them before bringing them to the table. "Maybe you... you have to find A-Qing," he murmurs. He doubts that she'll want to eat with him present, but he doesn't want her to go hungry.
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Date: 2023-04-29 12:31 am (UTC)"I'll bring this to her." he smiles a little more, "Sit down and eat, love. I won't be long."
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Date: 2023-04-29 07:09 am (UTC)He's tense the whole time Xingchen is away for though, and when he comes back he'll find that Xue Yang hasn't even touched his food.
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Date: 2023-04-30 12:54 am (UTC)Then he returns to Xue Yang, reaching out to stroke the man's hair.
"Eat."
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Date: 2023-04-30 03:40 pm (UTC)He leans into the touch, soaking up all the affection. "Mm..." he agrees as he starts to dig in.
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Date: 2023-05-01 02:22 am (UTC)"I'm here." he sits at the table too and begins to eat. Slowly. His stomach has to remember how to accept food.
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Date: 2023-05-01 10:38 am (UTC)He watches Xingchen as he eats, almost forgetting to eat himself, but eventually he starts to as well. "How is it?" he asks.
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Date: 2023-05-02 11:16 am (UTC)"It's good. I'm just... I don't know. I should be ravenous. Maybe that will come in time."
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Date: 2023-05-02 04:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-05-02 10:20 pm (UTC)"I was hurt and scared. I didn't know how to pull myself together." Xingchen lifts his head at the touch and turns his hand so their fingers can lace together, "Mm that makes sense. I'll need help regulating my temperature for awhile too...if you don't mind."
no subject
Date: 2023-05-03 04:30 pm (UTC)"You probably shouldn't have been able to stick around like you did, but something... something must've kept your consciousness anchored to your soul." His expression softens further. "I'll keep you warm." Of course he could never mind doing that.
no subject
Date: 2023-05-03 10:17 pm (UTC)"I love you." he states plainly, "Leaving someone I love to writhe in agony goes against my soul."
no subject
Date: 2023-05-04 05:56 am (UTC)"I brought it on myself," he murmurs, rubbing his thumb over Xingchen's knuckles. He turns his hand over to kiss his palm, where a faint scar from where Xingchen had cut himself on Fuxue can be seen. "But I'm... I'm so happy you came back."
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Date: 2023-05-04 11:08 am (UTC)After they are strong again, poor Zichen can be awoken. If his soulmate wants revenge, Xingchen realizes he needs to be strong enough to stop him.
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From:a-qing is the biggest songxiao shipper lmao
From:her daddies!
From:xue yang: am i a joke to you
From:a-qing: ...yup.
From:xy: :| well tough shit i am gonna marry xxc
From:a-qing: why do you wanna marry him? >8(
From:xy: um because i love him???
From:a-qing: >.> will you hurt him?
From:xy: no :|
From:a-qing: he's a good person.
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December 2024
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