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[bringingdowndisaster]

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[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang doesn't actually want to leave, so he immediately gets on the bed, lays down next to Xingchen and tugs him into his arms. "I'm not. I'm here. I won't... I won't leave," he whispers, voice shaky, "I'll never leave you... Please, don't ever leave me again?" He's crying again, holding Xingchen tighter.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen is eager and he moves as quickly as he can, hugging Xue Yang to him, his heart hammering until he feels sick. He hates being blind again. He has to find other ways to soothe his fear.

"I won't!" he gasps, choking, "J-Just hold onto me. Everything is dark again."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang holds him as close as he possibly can, and it still doesn't feel like enough. He puts their foreheads together and strokes over his back. "I'm sorry, Daozhang... I won't let go, not ever. I'm here." He chokes out a sob. "I was always here, I never left you, I... I took care of you..."

[gentledawn]

Tangling their legs together, Xingchen begins to calm, his fatigue and Xue Yang's proximity tugging him towards sleep. But he fights it, pressing forward to kiss Xue Yang softly.

"I saw everything." he reassures, "My Xue Yang cleaning me, resting beside me, talking to me..."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"You did? You saw everything?" Xue Yang sniffles and clings tighter to Xingchen. He does notice that Xingchen seems tired and he holds him closer to his chest. "You should sleep... I will be here. I won't leave. Never." He presses his lips to Xingchen's forehead. He can hardly believe that this is real, that his Xingchen is back and in his arms.

[gentledawn]

"My spirit isn't blind." Xingchen breathes in Xue Yang's scent and relaxes against him. Just returning to his body had been exhausting. But he needs the promises and he smiles shakily when Xue Yang gives them to him.

"I'm just resting this time." he promises in return, letting himself go limp as sleep claims him. His soft breathing and occasional shift are further proof that, yes, he is very much alive again.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang doesn't sleep. He watches over Xiao Xingchen the whole time, too anxious that he's going to stop breathing to be able to relax. At the same time, seeing the way his chest rises, hearing the soft breathing and feeling the way Xingchen moves also soothes him. Xingchen really is alive, returned to him...

He holds him close and strokes over his hair, lips pressed tenderly to his forehead. "I love you so much, I'm so sorry for everything..." he whispers, "I'll make it up to you... anyway I can."

[gentledawn]

Xingchen keeps himself tucked against Xue Yang no matter how he moves. At times he hugs the other man, burying his face against his neck or his chest. Then he gives a small sigh and relaxes again. It feels good to be able to rest.

He hadn't been able to do that as a spirit. The images he had witnessed tore at his heart much too deeply for him to find peace.

Murmuring something in reply - the words are garbled by sleep - he tries to answer. Each time Xue Yang had talked to his body, he had tried to answer before too. It's a habit now - for his soul, at least - and his forehead furrows as if he worries he won't be understood.

[bringingdowndisaster]

The murmurs and the way Xingchen stays curled up against him soothes him. Knowing that Xingchen still wants to be close, even in his sleep settles some of his anxiety. And as promised, Xue Yang doesn't leave. He holds Xingchen for as long as he sleeps for, unable to sleep himself, but he's not bored for a second. He never wants to tear his eyes away from Xiao Xingchen, alive and whole and in his arms again.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen wakes after more than a few hours. He had been exhausted! Stretching, he senses Xue Yang is near. Still. Has he been holding him the entire time? His cheeks gain a little color and he tentatively touches the other man's face.

"Xue Yang...?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang is still awake, his forehead resting against Xingchen's as he watches his pretty face. He smiles warmly when the other man stirs. "I'm here," he murmurs reassuringly, "I've been here this whole time." He's never leaving his Daozhang. Never ever.

[gentledawn]

He feels the pressure and he makes a soft sound, stroking Xue Yang's cheek and reminding himself of his handsome - and surprisingly sweet - face. This is a face he could kiss for the rest of his life.

And he will.

"Did you rest at all?" he presses their lips together before the other man can respond, wrapping Xue Yang in his arms.

[bringingdowndisaster]

The kiss makes him melt immediately, and he sinks deeper into Xingchen's arms. "I had to watch over you," he murmurs, pressing his lips back to Xingchen's. "Have to keep you safe..." Just like he'd kept Xingchen's soul and body safe for all those long months. He would have done it for as long as it would've taken.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen wraps around him and holds him like he has wanted to hold him for a year. Breathing is easier like this and he smiles at the sound of Xue Yang's voice.

"I'm my biggest threat, A-Yang, and I've made you a promise." a promise he will keep, "I want you to rest, alright? Close your eyes. I know you're exhausted. You can sleep for a few hours and then we need to figure out food."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"I'm... I'm afraid I'll wake up, and this has just been a dream," he admits in a low voice. It wouldn't be the first time he's dreamt of Xiao Xingchen waking up. It's never felt this real before, sure, but that doesn't make the nagging fear go away.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen presses another kiss to Xue Yang's lips, lingering for a moment. He knows the other man is literally worn thin. He needs rest. Desperately. He lays a hand over his lover's forehead and uses a spell to knock Xue Yang, safely, unconscious.

"I love you. I will be here."

[bringingdowndisaster]

The spell immediately takes effect as Xue Yang is not expecting it and has no defense against it. He sleeps in Xingchen's arms for several hours. The spell eventually wears off, but Xue Yang is so tired that he sleeps for longer anyway. When he does finally wake up, he feels groggy, but not as exhausted as before.

"Mnnn... Xingchen?" he murmurs, eyes peeking up at the other man, feeling warm and relieved to see his face.

[gentledawn]

He stays put...save for a few moments where he finds A-Qing. It doesn't take long when he calls for her. The poor girl is terrified and he spends some time embracing her and reassuring her. Then he sends her to the market with money he had hidden from everyone.

Now he's glad he did.

Then he returns to Xue Yang and pulls the poor man into his arms. When at last his lover stirs, he kisses him tenderly.

"Hello, love."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang sinks deeper into Xingchen's arms, clinging to him. "You're here," he murmurs, relieved. It hadn't been a dream. Xingchen really is alive again, really is back in his arms. He presses as close as he can possibly get, but even that isn't enough. He wants to crawl into Xingchen's chest and stay there, right next to his heart, never separated from him ever again.

[gentledawn]

"Of course I am. I promised." Xingchen hugs him as tight as he dares, kissing the crown of his head, "I've got you." and he is quite determined to never let go. To never leave. Not as long as he is needed.

"I'm sorry I had to use that spell on you, but you were exhausted." he rubs over Xue Yang's back, "Food will be here soon."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang hadn't even realized that Xingchen had used a spell on him, but he's soon distracted by his next words. "It will?" Confused, he wonders if somehow, Xingchen had sent Song Lan off to buy food...

[gentledawn]

"Mmhm." Xingchen smiles a little at the confusion, "I found A-Qing. She never left; I figured she would be hiding." and that girl is incredibly strong and adaptable. It makes him sad that she has had to learn both skills.

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Oh." So she'd been around this whole time? "Is she mad at me?" He can only imagine that she is. And probably terrified too. Maybe he can apologize to her...

[gentledawn]

"She's a brave girl." Xingchen is touched by A-Qing's loyalty; she has been keeping watch in case Xue Yang did manage to bring him back and she has been good to Zichen. When possible.

"I think she's scared of you." he admits, "You've...lost yourself. I left you in pain. I'm sorry."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Oh..." She really is. Xue Yang is glad that he hadn't gone after her - he's not sure what he might have done. "Y-Yeah, of course she's scared, she saw... she saw everything." He glances up at Xingchen and frowns. "It's not your fault. I-I hurt you. But I won't do it again. I promise!" He hugs Xingchen tighter to himself. He's never letting go of this man again.