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[bringingdowndisaster]

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Re: [Action]

[bringingdowndisaster]

The smile on Song Lan's face when he sees him makes Xue Yang feel funny inside. Similar to how he'd used to feel when Xiao Xingchen would smile at him back then... Shit.

With an awkward little smile he makes his way closer to Song Lan. "Hey. What's up?" He tries to sound casual, but it's probably not working very well.

[Action]

[zichen]

Zichen opens his journal and flips to the page he has kept carefully hidden. Xue Yang as he had been has been illustrated too - with care that could almost be called...loving.

"Are we going to pretend we weren't close, hm?"

Re: [Action]

[bringingdowndisaster]

A warm feeling spreads through his chest at the sight of that loving illustration. "...Didn't know you could draw," is all he can think to say.

He glances away. "It was a breach. It wasn't real."

[zichen]

"I'm not...skilled." Zichen glances down at his work, gently touching the image of Xue Yang looking so happy. Then he looks up again, closing his journal gently.

"You and I are right here. The only part that wasn't real was the circus." and some of their memories.

But even those weren't outlandishly out of sync with them.

[bringingdowndisaster]

"No, it's really good." No one has ever drawn him before, and it's... touching.

"Breaches are just like that," Xue Yang says, a little bitterly, "During my first breach I was close friends with Xiao Xingchen, and Crozier." He laughs humorlessly. That one had hurt.

[zichen]

The compliment burrows deep and wraps around his heart. It isn't difficult to close the space between them and pull Xue Yang into his arms.

"This is different." his voice isn't steady, "Xue Yang, we..."

His throat tightens with how much he longs for what they had.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang lets out a wounded little noise when he's pulled into Song Lan's arms, but he doesn't try to pull away. Fuck, he hates breaches. They always make him long for things he can't have.

"We... what?" Xue Yang's own voice is a little choked up as he's almost afraid to ask.

[zichen]

"We've grown closer, haven't we?" Zichen whispers, his arms tightening but not enough to harm Xue Yang. He doesn't want to hurt him.

"I journeyed to your cabin just as I journeyed to your tent. I remember how happy you were when my tongue was returned."

The sweetness he had enjoyed in the Breach does exist. It's just...complicated. Still, Zichen pursues it.

[bringingdowndisaster]

"I guess," Xue Yang allows because not even he can deny that. "But you'll come to your senses eventually." He tries to make it sound like a joke, but it definitely doesn't land that way.

Serious conversations about feelings just put him on edge, make him feel restless and uncomfortable.

[zichen]

"What if I don't?" Zichen pulls back so they are face to face, his dark gaze unwavering, "What if this is my choice? Will you reject me?"

It has always been a possibility - and one he has done his best to ignore. But after the joy they shared during the Breach, the question makes him ache.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang grips at Song Lan's robes with both hands. "I... I don't know," he murmurs in a very small voice. He's terrified and trying not to show it.

[zichen]

"I will wait." Zichen cups Xue Yang's face between his hands, "I will wait for you." just as he had waited to tell the other of his feelings in the circus.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang can't help but to lean into that touch either. Song Lan has really made him realize just how starved he'd been for touch. Touch that feels good, touch that grounds him, makes him feel safe...

"Okay," he murmurs.

[zichen]

Zichen smiles at the soft answer and gathers Xue Yang back into his arms, tucking him against him. There. Safe.

"You were..." he chuckles quietly to himself, "irresistible. We had far too much fun."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang's cheeks flush a little and he slips his arms around Song Lan's middle and rests his head against his chest.

"Mmm... I liked the animals. The Barge could do with a couple of lions and elephants." He grins a little.

[zichen]

Zichen tucks his journal away into his robes so both of his hands are free to...touch. And hold. He kisses the top of Xue Yang's head automatically.

"The cubs were far more precious than I thought they would be." his lips curve, "Gho and her Mei would make such a mess on the ship."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"They were fucking adorable. I wish we could bring things from breaches to the Barge. I'd have kidnapped a lion cub." Xue Yang chuckles a little. "At least there are cats here."

[zichen]

"Would you like a cat?" Zichen tips Xue Yang's head back and bravely kisses him.

Because.

[bringingdowndisaster]

"I don't think we're allowed to take the cats from here," Xue Yang says with a slight pout - that is immediately kissed away. "Mmm..." He easily melts into it and kisses back.

[zichen]

"Take them? No, I thought we could care for one." Zichen smiles at the pout and kisses the expression away, hugging Xue Yang against his chest.

So. A cat. One that would like to keep them company and end up terribly spoiled.

[bringingdowndisaster]

"I'd like that if we can..." Xue Yang murmurs against Song Lan's lips.

Oh, Xue Yang would definitely spoil that cat rotten.

[zichen]

"Will you come with me? I know where the cats and dogs are kept." Zichen whispers, kissing Xue Yang again with a small smile, "I miss having a little companion too."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Mm, I've been to the cat café before," Xue Yang says, "During a flood of all things." When he'd gotten ridiculously emotional over the cats...

"Did you have an animal companion before?" he asks curiously.

[zichen]

Zichen takes hold of Xue Yang's hand and leads him towards the Infirmary. The cats and dogs should be kept somewhere close by...? Or so he had been told.

"Mm. A small grey cat. I left her in the care of my Master."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Oh..." Well, Xue Yang doesn't remember seeing a cat when he'd paid his murderous visit to Baixue Temple, so he hopes she was able to hide out somewhere.

"I saved a cat and her kittens from a couple of dogs when I was still in Kuizhou," he says, "She would share food with me after that."