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[bringingdowndisaster]

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Re: [Action]

[bringingdowndisaster]

[ Xue Yang sits down in Xingchen's lap without hesitation and stays snuggled up to him. ]

I did before. Because he ruined everything. That's how it felt. [ He puts his head on Xingchen's shoulder and sighs. ] But he then just... kinda became all I had left. It was kind of comforting in a way. [ He presses his lips to the side of Xingchen's throat. ] I love you too.

[Action]

[gentledawn]

[He welcomes him with a kiss to the cheek and a warm embrace.]

You were frightened of me learning the truth and hating you. Zichen was just someone for you to focus on. You thought if you killed him, your worries would be over.

[He strokes his fingers through Xue Yang's hair.]

I know he watched you. He saw your pain in a way I couldn't. I should have stayed. I failed you both.

[A little shiver follows the kiss.]

Yet you're both kind enough to want me.

Re: [Action]

[bringingdowndisaster]

Y-Yeah. I didn't think you could ever... ever want me around if you knew. [ And Song Lan showing up had pretty much been his biggest fear. ]

It's not your fault. I hurt you so much... I drove you to it. I'm sorry. [ He leans into the touches through his hair, a pleased little sound following. ]

[Action]

[gentledawn]

I want you...and I need you, Xue Yang. [Xingchen holds him tighter and frowns.] You came back to life. I'm not going to waste the time we have together being angry at you.

Zichen... [He softens and nuzzles Xue Yang's shoulder.] He told me about how you were... My A-Yang, I wish I could have come back for you.

Re: [Action]

[bringingdowndisaster]

[ Xue Yang sniffles and buries his face against Xingchen's neck again. Those words are exactly what he's needed to hear. ]

I... I wished that too. So much. I drove myself crazy trying to get you back. [ And now they're finally together again. ] I... refused to understand that you didn't want to come back.

[Action]

[gentledawn]

[He rocks them, rubbing over Xue Yang's back.]

That's what he said. Watching you was painful for him. He didn't like seeing you that way.

[Xingchen can only imagine how tattered his spirit must have been to refuse all spells.]

I must have cut my spirit into pieces. Shuanghua can do that.

Re: [Action]

[bringingdowndisaster]

He didn't? [ That surprises Xue Yang a little. He's not sure how Song Lan feels about him, or how he'd felt back then. ] I made him kill for me... He should hate me.

[ He shudders a little as he memory of Xingchen slitting his own throat returns to him. He cuddles up closer to Xingchen. ] Y-Yeah. It was shattered. I could feel it, but I... I wanted to think there was a way to bring you back anyway.

[Action]

[gentledawn]

He doesn't. [Xingchen answers quietly, turning Xue Yang's head so he can kiss him, tenderly, on the lips.] He didn't like killing you.

[Because, at a certain point, justice becomes...grey. Xue Yang's death didn't fix the loss of his life, his tongue and Xingchen; if anything, it probably made Zichen lonelier.]

I'm here now.

Re: [Action]

[bringingdowndisaster]

[ Xue Yang lets out a small, humming sound. ] He was basically just... putting me out of misery at that point.

[ He nuzzles Xingchen's neck. ] Yeah. I don't... I don't ever want to lose you again.

[Action]

[gentledawn]

I never meant to make you so miserable. [Xingchen lays back on the bed and holds Xue Yang against him.]

I won't push you away. I would be a fool to let you go. [And he has been foolish enough.] Even Zichen knows how much you love me. I... That's what I need. All I need.

Re: [Action]

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang presses even closer once they're laying down. He slides a leg over Xingchen's hip so that they can have even more intimacy. ] I told you, it's not your fault. I made myself miserable. I... didn't know how to keep you.

[ He nuzzles Xingchen's neck and kisses it. ] I'm not good at sharing... but I'll try for you.

Re: [Action]

[gentledawn]

[He reaches down and caresses Xue Yang's thigh, pressing close so he can kiss over his lover's face.]

First of all, you're not keeping me. I'm choosing to stay.

[Xingchen lays Xue Yang's hand over his heart.]

Second of all, it's not sharing. At least, not what I have in mind. [He blushes.] You think Zichen is handsome, don't you?

Re: [Action]

[bringingdowndisaster]

[ Xue Yang smiles and leans into the kisses, warmth spreading through him. Xingchen is so good at reassuring him. He leans up and presses their lips together.

He raises an eyebrow. ]

You want all three of us to be together?

[Action]

[gentledawn]

[Xingchen kisses Xue Yang's lips last, lingering as he gently nibbles on them. Then he holds their foreheads together, blushing profusely.]

Y-Yes. Equally. I...admit it might be a dream.

Re: [Action]

[bringingdowndisaster]

[ Xue Yang can't help but to smile a little seeing Xingchen blush like that. ]

If all of us are together... no one would be left out. [ He likes that better than having to be without Xingchen while he's with Song Lan. ]

[Action]

[gentledawn]

[He nods enthusiastically, beginning to smile.]

You don't have to love him and he doesn't have to love you. We know hearts can change over time and -

There is a reason for us, A-Yang. We have been in each other's orbit for too long.

Re: [Action]

[bringingdowndisaster]

[ Xue Yang nuzzles their noses together and gives Xingchen a soft little kiss. ]

If he's okay with that then... I'm willing to try.

[Action]

[gentledawn]

A-Yang... [Xingchen gasps and presses against him, wrapping his arms and legs around him.] Even if...it doesn't work...I won't leave you.

Re: [Action]

[bringingdowndisaster]

[ Xue Yang's smile widens and he presses himself as close as he can possibly get. ] Yeah, you better not. [ He murmurs a little playfully, kissing him again. ]

[Action]

[gentledawn]

[He blushes for a different reason, shivering with a small, curious smile.]

I promise. [Xingchen melts into the kiss, hugging Xue Yang to him as tightly as he dares.]

Re: [Action]

[bringingdowndisaster]

[ Xue Yang lets out a pleased sound into the kiss and rolls over onto his back, still clinging to Xingchen and letting him on top of himself. ]

I love you. [ He murmurs against his lips. ]

[Action]

[gentledawn]

[Xingchen gasps and giggles when he ends up on top of his A-Yang. Settling himself comfortably on Xue Yang's hips, he lays over his lover with a smile.]

I love you too. [He presses into another kiss, nuzzling their noses together.] If I think about even a day without you, I feel like crying.

Re: [Action]

[bringingdowndisaster]

[ Xue Yang feels calmed having the soothing weight of Xingchen on top of him. Like a heavy blanket weighing him down. He deepens the kiss, letting their tongues play, and sucking a little needily on his bottom lip. ]

I was without you for so long... I don't want that ever again.

[Action]

[gentledawn]

[He stretches out and then loses himself, happily, in their kiss. Xue Yang's tongue is far too good at moving perfectly and he moans at the heat.]

Mm I'm right here. And I'm not going anywhere. Whatever awaits us, we can conquer it together.

Re: [Action]

[bringingdowndisaster]

[ That moan sends sparks of arousal through him. He arches up and lets out a moan of his own. ]

Yes... Together. [ Gods, he loves this man so much. ]