[ Xue Yang sniffles and buries his face against Xingchen's neck again. Those words are exactly what he's needed to hear. ]
I... I wished that too. So much. I drove myself crazy trying to get you back. [ And now they're finally together again. ] I... refused to understand that you didn't want to come back.
He didn't? [ That surprises Xue Yang a little. He's not sure how Song Lan feels about him, or how he'd felt back then. ] I made him kill for me... He should hate me.
[ He shudders a little as he memory of Xingchen slitting his own throat returns to him. He cuddles up closer to Xingchen. ] Y-Yeah. It was shattered. I could feel it, but I... I wanted to think there was a way to bring you back anyway.
He doesn't. [Xingchen answers quietly, turning Xue Yang's head so he can kiss him, tenderly, on the lips.] He didn't like killing you.
[Because, at a certain point, justice becomes...grey. Xue Yang's death didn't fix the loss of his life, his tongue and Xingchen; if anything, it probably made Zichen lonelier.]
I never meant to make you so miserable. [Xingchen lays back on the bed and holds Xue Yang against him.]
I won't push you away. I would be a fool to let you go. [And he has been foolish enough.] Even Zichen knows how much you love me. I... That's what I need. All I need.
Xue Yang presses even closer once they're laying down. He slides a leg over Xingchen's hip so that they can have even more intimacy. ] I told you, it's not your fault. I made myself miserable. I... didn't know how to keep you.
[ He nuzzles Xingchen's neck and kisses it. ] I'm not good at sharing... but I'll try for you.
[ Xue Yang smiles and leans into the kisses, warmth spreading through him. Xingchen is so good at reassuring him. He leans up and presses their lips together.
[ Xue Yang's smile widens and he presses himself as close as he can possibly get. ] Yeah, you better not. [ He murmurs a little playfully, kissing him again. ]
[Xingchen gasps and giggles when he ends up on top of his A-Yang. Settling himself comfortably on Xue Yang's hips, he lays over his lover with a smile.]
I love you too. [He presses into another kiss, nuzzling their noses together.] If I think about even a day without you, I feel like crying.
[ Xue Yang feels calmed having the soothing weight of Xingchen on top of him. Like a heavy blanket weighing him down. He deepens the kiss, letting their tongues play, and sucking a little needily on his bottom lip. ]
I was without you for so long... I don't want that ever again.
[ More than anything. He already knows what life is without Xiao Xingchen, and it had been... miserable. Lonely. The absolute worst experience of his life, worse even than losing his finger. He can't ever go through that again.
And now he needs to feel Xingchen. His love, his desire, his warm body... He parts his lips when they're sucked on to let Xingchen in. ]
I'm right here. [Xingchen whispers and tugs open Xue Yang's robes. His hands caress his lover slowly, warming his skin through friction. Meanwhile he presses his tongue into Xue Yang's mouth, exploring with a soft moan.
For all its faults, this place has brought them together again. Xingchen is grateful for that.]
[ Xue Yang is too. He doesn't care where he is, as long as Xiao Xingchen is there too. Any place can become a home with the man he loves there. His mouth easily accepts Xingchen's tongue inside, and he presses his own against Xingchen's to let them play. Feeling Xingchen's desire for him further comforts and reassures him. Yes, this is where he belongs. ]
Re: [Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 12:02 pm (UTC)I... I wished that too. So much. I drove myself crazy trying to get you back. [ And now they're finally together again. ] I... refused to understand that you didn't want to come back.
[Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 12:04 pm (UTC)That's what he said. Watching you was painful for him. He didn't like seeing you that way.
[Xingchen can only imagine how tattered his spirit must have been to refuse all spells.]
I must have cut my spirit into pieces. Shuanghua can do that.
Re: [Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 12:08 pm (UTC)[ He shudders a little as he memory of Xingchen slitting his own throat returns to him. He cuddles up closer to Xingchen. ] Y-Yeah. It was shattered. I could feel it, but I... I wanted to think there was a way to bring you back anyway.
[Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 12:27 pm (UTC)[Because, at a certain point, justice becomes...grey. Xue Yang's death didn't fix the loss of his life, his tongue and Xingchen; if anything, it probably made Zichen lonelier.]
I'm here now.
Re: [Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 12:31 pm (UTC)[ He nuzzles Xingchen's neck. ] Yeah. I don't... I don't ever want to lose you again.
[Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 12:35 pm (UTC)I won't push you away. I would be a fool to let you go. [And he has been foolish enough.] Even Zichen knows how much you love me. I... That's what I need. All I need.
Re: [Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 12:38 pm (UTC)[ He nuzzles Xingchen's neck and kisses it. ] I'm not good at sharing... but I'll try for you.
Re: [Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 12:41 pm (UTC)First of all, you're not keeping me. I'm choosing to stay.
[Xingchen lays Xue Yang's hand over his heart.]
Second of all, it's not sharing. At least, not what I have in mind. [He blushes.] You think Zichen is handsome, don't you?
Re: [Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 12:44 pm (UTC)He raises an eyebrow. ]
You want all three of us to be together?
[Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 12:50 pm (UTC)Y-Yes. Equally. I...admit it might be a dream.
Re: [Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 12:53 pm (UTC)If all of us are together... no one would be left out. [ He likes that better than having to be without Xingchen while he's with Song Lan. ]
[Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 12:57 pm (UTC)You don't have to love him and he doesn't have to love you. We know hearts can change over time and -
There is a reason for us, A-Yang. We have been in each other's orbit for too long.
Re: [Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 12:59 pm (UTC)If he's okay with that then... I'm willing to try.
[Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 01:01 pm (UTC)Re: [Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 01:04 pm (UTC)[Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 01:06 pm (UTC)I promise. [Xingchen melts into the kiss, hugging Xue Yang to him as tightly as he dares.]
Re: [Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 01:09 pm (UTC)I love you. [ He murmurs against his lips. ]
[Action]
Date: 2023-04-23 10:10 pm (UTC)I love you too. [He presses into another kiss, nuzzling their noses together.] If I think about even a day without you, I feel like crying.
Re: [Action]
Date: 2023-04-24 06:14 am (UTC)I was without you for so long... I don't want that ever again.
[Action]
Date: 2023-04-24 09:24 am (UTC)Mm I'm right here. And I'm not going anywhere. Whatever awaits us, we can conquer it together.
Re: [Action]
Date: 2023-04-27 06:00 am (UTC)Yes... Together. [ Gods, he loves this man so much. ]
[Action]
Date: 2023-04-27 11:13 am (UTC)Don't let go of me, A-Yang. I need you.
Re: [Action]
Date: 2023-04-27 06:40 pm (UTC)[ More than anything. He already knows what life is without Xiao Xingchen, and it had been... miserable. Lonely. The absolute worst experience of his life, worse even than losing his finger. He can't ever go through that again.
And now he needs to feel Xingchen. His love, his desire, his warm body... He parts his lips when they're sucked on to let Xingchen in. ]
[Action]
Date: 2023-04-27 10:09 pm (UTC)For all its faults, this place has brought them together again. Xingchen is grateful for that.]
Re: [Action]
Date: 2023-04-28 07:04 am (UTC)[Action]
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