"That means no one else can control you." There is a relief in that. He'd be pissed if someone even tried. "And I don't want to... so. You have your free will."
"No, I wouldn't be able to hear them." Zichen means that on a deeper level, of course. He firmly believes if Xue Yang called out for him now - even if he was nowhere nearby - he would feel it.
"No, you wouldn't," he agrees with a surprisingly soft smirk on his lips. Mine, he can't help but to think as a wave of sudden possessiveness wells up within him.
"You didn't know it, but that day you bound us together." Zichen traces Xue Yang's smirk with his thumb, "You took me away from Xingchen and made me yours." he sighs and shakes his head, "That wasn't my choice. I fought you with everything I had. Yet it allowed me see you. To know you."
Xue Yang nips that thumb and lets his pointy canine graze along it. "Mmm... I didn't plan any of that. You surprised me." In the worst kind of way. He had let his guard down, hadn't thought he'd ever see Song Lan again. He still remembers the anger and fear that had struck him when he'd heard that voice say his name.
He watches, riveted, his lips parting. Tilting his head, he strokes over Xue Yang's chest and side, clearly lost in thought. That day had been...awful. The worst day of his life.
"You were frightened. I saw how happy you were with him and it enraged me."
Xue Yang makes a face and then sighs, almost petulantly. It had been the worst day of his life too. Worse even than losing his finger. "I couldn't let you ruin everything," he says softly, "but instead I ruined everything." A reluctant admission, but one he makes anyway.
"You could have told him the truth if you hadn't made him kill." Zichen then adds, "Or killed my Master and brothers." or done any of the killings, truly. But that was probably taking it too far back.
"If you had asked him for help, he would have given it. I, on the other hand, would have carted you off by the scruff of your neck."
"If I'd never killed anyone, I wouldn't have met him. Or you." Which would've been better for them of course. They wouldn't be missing body parts, would probably still be out there, wandering around, helping people. Xue Yang isn't sure how he feels thinking about that. It's uncomfortable.
Song Lan's next comment makes him laugh a little. "And if you'd found me half-dead in a ditch? Guessing you would've done the smart thing and just let me die there, huh?"
"No." Zichen ignores the what ifs and could have beens and instead focuses on that last question, "I can heal and I would want you nice and healthy when you answered for your crimes."
Like hell would he let a wound or an infection carry Xue Yang away!
Xue Yang laughs. He probably shouldn't find the thought of that funny, but he does. "Aish, would you at least have killed me yourself?" Revenge he understands, better than most probably!
"I don't know." Zichen considers the possibility, "That would depend on your behavior." then his eyes narrow, "I'm sure you were pathetic when you were injured."
"I probably would've pissed you off so much you'd have killed me no matter how pathetic I looked." Xue Yang definitely would've provoked Song Lan a lot...
"I have more self-control than you think." but...not much. Not when it comes to bratty demonic cultivators. Zichen has very specific buttons and Xue Yang knows how to push them.
"I'm good at pushing your buttons," Xue Yang says as he absentmindedly trails a finger down Song Lan's chest. He'd done it at Baixue, and then in Yi City. Both times he had got exactly what he'd wanted out of Song Lan at the time.
"Sometimes I do," Xue Yang admits. It's a defense mechanism in him that is hard to get rid of, and not just where Song Lan is concerned. He lashes out at anyone if they make him feel like he has to defend himself. He leans up a little and gently headbutts Song Lan's chin, like a cat. "But not right now."
Xue Yang shrugs. "I just do. I guess it... makes me feel better?" He makes an uncomfortable face and snuggles up a little closer. He's not quite in touch with his own emotions enough to understand that he uses it as a defense. That most of his lashing out comes down to feeling vulnerable and feeling the need to go on the offensive. Because being vulnerable is dangerous.
He hums into the kiss and slides his arms around Song Lan's neck, relaxing into it.
"Mm." Zichen nods slowly, accepting that answer. It takes time to understand the root of things. Xue Yang has been through (and caused) a lot of trauma. That just makes things more confusing. It's almost like trying to swim in incredibly murky water.
Their kisses are less complicated, however, and Zichen sighs, rubbing over Xue Yang's back before he grabs his hips.
"Mm..." Xue Yang definitely prefers kissing over talking about his feelings, so the distraction is very welcome. He presses into the kiss with a pleased little hum, his hands slipping into Song Lan's hair.
Frankly, he does too. Zichen is tired of feeling the ache of tension in his head and his body. Kissing Xue Yang is soft and hot. He doesn't feel like a corpse when they are pressed together.
Smoothing a hand up his lover's abdomen, he growls possessively. Like he wants to devour him.
A shiver rushes down Xue Yang's spine hearing that growling. It's addictive how much this man seems to desire him. How much he desires him right back. He deepens the kiss, starting to feel hot and needy as he presses himself up closer.
The hunger doesn't seem to have an end! Zichen has never felt anything like this and his body acts without thought, his teeth sinking into Xue Yang's shoulder and one of his hands wrapping around his cock.
Xue Yang has never felt this much desire for another person before either. Not even Xiao Xingchen, he realizes, though that may just be because they had never been intimate like this. If they had ever gotten that far, well, then he probably would've driven himself even more crazy with longing.
Not something he wants to think about now though, and thankfully, Song Lan provides the perfect distraction. He groans when he's bitten and rocks needily into his lover's hand, his cock already hardening at a rapid pace. "Harder," he gasps, "Bite me more..."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2023-10-26 06:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-10-26 07:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-10-26 07:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-10-26 07:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-10-26 07:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-10-26 07:41 pm (UTC)"You were frightened. I saw how happy you were with him and it enraged me."
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Date: 2023-10-26 07:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-10-26 07:54 pm (UTC)"If you had asked him for help, he would have given it. I, on the other hand, would have carted you off by the scruff of your neck."
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Date: 2023-10-26 07:59 pm (UTC)Song Lan's next comment makes him laugh a little. "And if you'd found me half-dead in a ditch? Guessing you would've done the smart thing and just let me die there, huh?"
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Date: 2023-10-26 08:04 pm (UTC)Like hell would he let a wound or an infection carry Xue Yang away!
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Date: 2023-10-26 08:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-10-27 11:07 am (UTC)(suddenly i really want a canon au psl where song lan is the one who finds xue yang in that ditch)
Date: 2023-10-27 12:41 pm (UTC)>:3 Yes. SL would be so torn.
Date: 2023-10-27 12:50 pm (UTC)xxc is just off elsewhere on peaceful adventures with a-qing while sl deals with a gremlin lmao
Date: 2023-10-27 12:54 pm (UTC)So many frowns would happen. And huffs.
Date: 2023-10-27 12:59 pm (UTC)"Is that what you want to do? Press my buttons?" or would he rather entice him and play nice?
but it would be better for everyone in the end <3
Date: 2023-10-27 01:07 pm (UTC)it would ;n;
Date: 2023-10-27 01:15 pm (UTC)The headbutting is distracting and Zichen draws the other man into a soft kiss.
"You're too sleepy to use your claws."
if u wanna rp that, i could write a starter? :3
Date: 2023-10-27 01:20 pm (UTC)He hums into the kiss and slides his arms around Song Lan's neck, relaxing into it.
yes please! :3
Date: 2023-10-27 01:28 pm (UTC)Their kisses are less complicated, however, and Zichen sighs, rubbing over Xue Yang's back before he grabs his hips.
i sent u a pm :3
Date: 2023-10-27 01:38 pm (UTC)Got it <3
Date: 2023-10-27 01:51 pm (UTC)Smoothing a hand up his lover's abdomen, he growls possessively. Like he wants to devour him.
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Date: 2023-10-27 08:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-10-27 10:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-10-28 08:00 am (UTC)Not something he wants to think about now though, and thankfully, Song Lan provides the perfect distraction. He groans when he's bitten and rocks needily into his lover's hand, his cock already hardening at a rapid pace. "Harder," he gasps, "Bite me more..."
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