The frustration and clutching encourage him to leave his pillow and sit on the bed beside Xue Yang. He cups the boy's face between his hands and smiles soothingly.
"You're too aware of the outside world. I won't let anything or anyone hurt you. I give you my word." Xingchen gently covers the boy's ears - but not hard enough that Xue Yang can't hear him, "Block out the world. I'll guide you this time."
One of his hands lowers to Xue Yang's chest and he slowly calls forth that wild Golden Core.
Xue Yang tenses a little when Xiao Xingchen touches him, but those hands are so warm and his expression so painfully sincere that it's hard not to trust him. He'll never forget what happened the last time he trusted a cultivator, but so far Xiao Xingchen has been nothing but kind.
Slowly, hesitantly, he wills himself to relax a little. Eyes close, and then he lets himself follow Xiao Xingchen's guidance.
It's easier this time. He starts to feel something bloom in his chest, something warm and almost soothing. So, he really does have one... He'd been afraid to actually believe it.
That won't happen again. Not with Xingchen and not on his watch. His hands are gentle when he touches Xue Yang, barely making any contact. When the other boy gives him his tentative trust, Xingchen smiles and does what he can to draw out Xue Yang's Golden Core.
Oh it exists. It just hasn't been Cultivated yet.
"This is yours. With practice, it can become as strong as - or even stronger than mine."
"We harness its power and use it for spells." Xingchen is utterly charmed by those wide eyes, "It's like a muscle. The more we use it, the stronger it will be."
"You're gonna have to show me how," Xue Yang insists. He's feeling very eager to learn. Actually being able to feel his own core like this... it's given him a boost of enthusiasm and hope that hadn't been there before.
"Of course." Xingchen grins at the insistence, "Let's start simple. Do you see that candle on the bedside table?" he moves to guide Xue Yang, first, through the motions, "Use the heat you feel from your core to start a fire."
He whispers the incantation into his ear so the candle isn't lit accidentally by him.
Xue Yang stares at the candle and focuses on the warmth inside of him, trying to imagine the candle lighting up. He then says the incantation, and... the candle lights up. Xue Yang's eyes widen in surprise and awe. "Holy shit. Gege, it worked!"
"Of course it did." Xingchen smiles warmly, proud and touched by Xue Yang's enthusiasm, "Your core is good. It just needs time and practice to be great." he stretches out a hand and snuffs the candle, "In the same way you lit the candle, you can heal another and yourself. It's about energy transference."
"Healing...?" Xue Yang frowns a little as something occurs to him. "I think I've done that... before. Healed myself. But I didn't realize." He's been injured a lot in his life, but no matter how bad his injuries, he's never had a wound get infected. He had figured himself to just be lucky, but maybe his golden core had prevented it.
"You have?" Xingchen is worried that injuries have occurred, but considering the life Xue Yang had been living, they are likely a given, "Were you badly hurt?"
Golden Cores are good at staving off infection and speeding wound recovery. Even stab wounds can be healed in a remarkably short amount of time.
Xue Yang shrugs. "Yeah, sometimes. But I never got an infection and sometimes injuries healed really fast." He probably would've died long ago if not for that, honestly.
"That was your Core at work." Xingchen is pleased to hear it has been so active, "It protected you as best as it could. You surely inherited that power from your parents."
"Huh..." Xue Yang looks away for a moment. "I don't remember my parents." For as long as he can recall, he's been on his own. "Sometimes, I think I can... remember a voice, but... I dunno."
"I don't remember mine either." Xingchen squeezes Xue Yang's shoulder, "Can you remember what the voice said?"
It's...something. A memory. Sometimes Xingchen wonders if his Master was right (teasing him gently as a child) and he just appeared one day on her mountain.
Xue Yang shakes his head. "No. I just know it's a man's voice." He glances back at Xiao Xingchen, a little curiously. "You didn't have parents either?"
"Mm... maybe." Xue Yang wishes he could remember more clearly. At the same time, he's also definitely worried that if he does remember, it's going to turn out that he was unloved and not cared for by his parents either.
"...Lucky," he murmurs, a hint of bitterness creeping into his voice. There's so much he could've avoided having to suffer through if he'd had that same luck.
"I'm glad you have some memory." Xingchen won't push; he wants the voice to remain good for Xue Yang. He shouldn't suffer for the failure or tragedy of his parents. There has to be some reason they aren't in his life.
"I am." he agrees, pulling the other boy against his side, "I'm sorry you've suffered, Xue Yang. It won't continue."
Xue Yang's face scrunches up a little as he tries to remember. "I think... I think he was teaching me how to write my name. I can hear him say my name. That's how I always knew it." He sighs a little and shrugs. "But that's all."
He tenses a little when he pulls close and gives Xiao Xingchen a slightly wary look, but he allows the closeness. "...We'll see, I guess."
Xue Yang is so precious! The other boy can't know how much Xingchen has come to care about him. He can see Xue Yang doesn't trust much of anything except what he can see and feel himself. That's fair.
"Names are given with love." he feels the tension and loosens his hold, "You will see. I will be beside you."
"Do you know if there's any way to... remember things like that?" he asks, peering curiously at the older boy. He doesn't know if remembering would make him feel better or worse, but it might at least give him some closure.
"I can ask Master. Meditation might help free those memories. There are certain herbs that can open the mind." Xingchen answers thoughtfully, "I will sit with you if you wish to try?"
Xue Yang worries his bottom lip with his teeth for a moment before nodding. "Okay... but I've never meditated before." He doesn't know if he can even manage to sit still for that long!
"The incense will help you be calm." Xingchen reassures, rising to make preparations, "All you have to do is sit and think back to the time you want to remember."
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Date: 2023-02-01 02:37 am (UTC)"You're too aware of the outside world. I won't let anything or anyone hurt you. I give you my word." Xingchen gently covers the boy's ears - but not hard enough that Xue Yang can't hear him, "Block out the world. I'll guide you this time."
One of his hands lowers to Xue Yang's chest and he slowly calls forth that wild Golden Core.
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Date: 2023-02-01 07:20 pm (UTC)Slowly, hesitantly, he wills himself to relax a little. Eyes close, and then he lets himself follow Xiao Xingchen's guidance.
It's easier this time. He starts to feel something bloom in his chest, something warm and almost soothing. So, he really does have one... He'd been afraid to actually believe it.
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Date: 2023-02-02 08:48 am (UTC)Oh it exists. It just hasn't been Cultivated yet.
"This is yours. With practice, it can become as strong as - or even stronger than mine."
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Date: 2023-02-02 03:29 pm (UTC)"How? I mean... how do I practice?" he asks, maybe a little too eagerly.
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Date: 2023-02-05 10:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-06 10:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-07 04:02 am (UTC)He whispers the incantation into his ear so the candle isn't lit accidentally by him.
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Date: 2023-02-07 03:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-08 10:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-08 04:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-09 02:47 am (UTC)Golden Cores are good at staving off infection and speeding wound recovery. Even stab wounds can be healed in a remarkably short amount of time.
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Date: 2023-02-09 06:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-10 09:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-10 06:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-11 02:06 am (UTC)It's...something. A memory. Sometimes Xingchen wonders if his Master was right (teasing him gently as a child) and he just appeared one day on her mountain.
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Date: 2023-02-11 06:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-11 12:47 pm (UTC)That would be a nice connection. At the question, he nods.
"Master likely found me when I was a baby."
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Date: 2023-02-11 05:09 pm (UTC)"...Lucky," he murmurs, a hint of bitterness creeping into his voice. There's so much he could've avoided having to suffer through if he'd had that same luck.
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Date: 2023-02-12 02:39 am (UTC)"I am." he agrees, pulling the other boy against his side, "I'm sorry you've suffered, Xue Yang. It won't continue."
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Date: 2023-02-12 03:47 pm (UTC)He tenses a little when he pulls close and gives Xiao Xingchen a slightly wary look, but he allows the closeness. "...We'll see, I guess."
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Date: 2023-02-13 08:50 am (UTC)"Names are given with love." he feels the tension and loosens his hold, "You will see. I will be beside you."
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Date: 2023-02-13 03:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-15 02:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-15 08:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-15 11:52 am (UTC)(no subject)
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