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[bringingdowndisaster]

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[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang nods, and carefully leans into Xiao Xingchen's arms. He can train and become strong. Maybe he won't be able to ever track down his father's killers, but there are others...

"I remember... my father said that he wanted me to have a better chance than he'd had. That's why he wanted me to learn to read and write. I didn't really get it, back then, but..." He does now. His father had probably used some of that borrowed money to buy that calligraphy brush. Just to teach him.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen rests their heads together, listening to those precious memories. He chuckles softly, a little tearfully, at the comment about not getting it back then.

"A-Yang, you were only a child. You expect so much of yourself and...that's how you've survived." he wipes at his eyes with his sleeve, "I'll help you with anything you want to learn. Your father is likely already proud of you, but why shouldn't you be strong and capable?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang sniffles and shudders. "How could he be proud of me? I'm just a... a... fucking delinquent whore. That's nothing to be proud of." He spits the words, angrily. "Who could... ever want that?" His voice sounds smaller now.

[gentledawn]

He hugs him tighter at those awful words. Xingchen shakes his head firmly.

"You're alive. Whatever you've had to do to stay alive probably breaks his heart." he knows it breaks his, "How could he ever stop loving you? You are his precious son."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Those words cause Xue Yang to break down into a fit of sobs again. He presses his face into Xiao Xingchen's shoulder as if trying to hide it - which is pointless of course.

He's never allowed himself to grieve, or to truly feel the impact that years on the streets had had on him. He suddenly feels filthy, disgusting.

How can Xiao Xingchen touch him with hands that he doubts have ever been cruel? How can someone so... so beautiful and kind look at him and not appear to see just a pile of trash? Or a body to abuse? He doesn't understand, but he doesn't want Xiao Xingchen to let go either.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen holds him securely, not minding in the least if his robes get wet or dirty. He is grateful - so grateful - to Xue Yang's father for doing all he could to protect his son. While he has only known the other boy for a day, he can see his worth clearly.

He doesn't want to let him go.

Proving his strength, he lifts his friend and carries him back to bed. There, he uses a soft cloth, dipped in water, to clean and soothe Xue Yang's face.

[bringingdowndisaster]

It's embarrassing to be seen to be so weak and vulnerable. Embarrassing and dangerous. It goes against all of his survival instincts, but something about Xiao Xingchen makes him want to trust him.

Maybe because his touch is not like what he's used to. It's not rough, violent, angry or lecherous. Shuddering, he feels nauseated at the thought of all the men who have touched him.

It's not a big deal, he tries to tell himself, but remembering his father has left him emotionally open and rubbed raw on the inside. Knowing that he could have had a normal life if not for his father being murdered... it just brings to light how fucked up his whole life has been for the past decade or so.

Still sniffling, Xue Yang sits still and quiet as Xiao Xingchen cleans his face. He must look a mess.

[gentledawn]

Xue Yang can be weak, vulnerable and worse, if worse exists for him, and Xingchen will just love him all the more. His chest hurts at what his little friend has revealed. Xingchen doesn't fully understand sex - beyond the basics - and this is the first time he has thought about someone being...forced. How awful!

How...unforgivable. He tightens his embrace around the other boy until he is cleaning that precious face.

"What happened to you isn't your fault." he dries Xue Yang's cheeks with a soft towel, "You're so strong; stronger than I would be."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang wouldn't consider himself having been forced, though he most certainly had been - by his circumstances. If there had been any other option, he would have chosen that. He doesn't like to be seen as a victim, but right now it feels like his skin is crawling with everything he'd had to do to survive.

"Because I had to be," he says, his voice hardening a little, "You can't know what you would've done if you were in my shoes."

[gentledawn]

"You're right." Xingchen hears that hard edge and knows there is pain underneath. A lot of pain.

"Just like I can't know what I would do if I was in an avalanche. What you've gone through... It's going to take time, but you can heal." because of the strength and resilience Xue Yang has already shown, "I believe in you."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang shudders again and grips at Xiao Xingchen's robes. "I don't want to do that again," he whispers, tucking his face against the older boy's shoulder.

[gentledawn]

"You won't. Never again." Xingchen promises firmly, "I'm with you now. We're going to be strong Cultivators. We will help people, Xue Yang."

He hugs the younger boy to him.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang wants to believe Xiao Xingchen. Wants to believe that he's free from the streets, from everything he'd been forced to do, but trust is hard. He's lowered his guard around Xiao Xingchen, but that doesn't mean that he's ready to put his full trust in him.

"I want to be strong..." he murmurs. So that no one can ever hurt him again, or make him feel small and powerless.

[gentledawn]

"You are strong." Xingchen smiles into Xue Yang's cute face, already smitten with the boy. He wants to be a good friend and protect Xue Yang while he needs it.

"With steady meals and physical training, you will be strong enough to face any foe." he nods at the practice swords resting against the wall in the corner of the room, "We use those so we don't hurt one another."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang gives a very determined nod. He'll train, get strong and get back at those who had hurt him. He imagines hunting down Chang Ci'an... Now, that's a satisfying thought. He'd already imagined many violent scenarios involving that man, but it's even better to imagine himself as a full-fledged cultivator doing it!

"Can you show me some techniques?" he asks.

[gentledawn]

"We don't fight inside." Xingchen touches Xue Yang's forehead, casting a spell that will keep him warm even in the snow, "Change into these robes..."

Rising, he pulls out some thicker robes from an armoire. After handing them to his friend, he goes to gather the blunt weapons.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang takes the offered robes and puts them on. Oh... to have had something like this in Kuizhou. He'd never go cold again. If he really can stay here... maybe he won't have to worry about that ever again.

He follows Xiao Xingchen over to the blunt weapons. He's never held a sword before, not even a practice one, so this will be interesting...

[gentledawn]

In Xingchen's mind, yes, this is a done deal. Xue Yang is staying where he can be warm and safe and taught. He chooses two of the "swords" and smiles at his little friend.

"Come on." he pushes open the door and leads the way outside to a training yard. The snow has been cleared off, so they won't slip. Then he holds out one of the "swords", nodding to Xue Yang encouragingly.

"Everyone has a different grip depending on your comfort level and how you want to balance the blade."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang takes one of the practice swords. It's not very heavy and it seems to fit decently well in his hand. He uses his right hand of course. It's his dominant hand, but he also doesn't trust his left.

He lets it rest across his shoulders as he follows Xingchen to the training yard. Luckily there is no one else there. Xue Yang doesn't want to be watched while he's learning. "How do you hold yours?" he asks.

[gentledawn]

"Like this." Xingchen demonstrates, holding out the practice sword and arranging his hand as if he held Shuanghua, "I keep my grip loose, but strong. If you tighten up, your hand can begin to ache and you risk dropping your sword or having it taken from you."

His eyes travel to said left hand.

"You have one hand you can depend on. Treat it well."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang pays close attention to how Xiao Xingchen is holding the practice sword. Loose, but strong... He nods and tries to mimic the grip the older boy had demonstrated. "How's this?" he asks as he shows him.

[gentledawn]

Xingchen beams at the almost perfect mimic. This boy is exceptionally bright! And a natural with a blade.

"Your hand is smaller than mine. Let's try to spread your fingers...just a little...to give you better balance." he rearranges Xue Yang's hand with gentle touches.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang nods and lets Xiao Xingchen correct his grip on the sword. It does feel better that way. "Okay, what do I do now?" he asks. There is a very determined look on his face.

[gentledawn]

"Now I want you to mirror me." Xingchen steps back, growing serious (though he adores that determination), "We are going to work on your muscles."

The motions are simple, but they exercise all the muscles Xue Yang will need.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang is a fast learner. He always has been when it concerns something that actually interests him. He ends up mimicking Xiao Xingchen's movements quite well, though he doesn't have the same strength as the older boy does.

He keeps going though, even when his muscles start to ache.