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[bringingdowndisaster]

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[zichen]

"I watched you for years. I saw your pain and anguish. I saw how much you love him." Zichen smiles sadly, "I suppose I saw a little of myself in you. It hurt me to be confined, to be unable to express myself or do as I wished. I admit I hated you, but that became...something else over the years."

Something murky and frustrating.

"Killing you hurt too." his voice quiets, "I saw the candy in your hand and how you tried to cling onto Xingchen's soul. You were...are...in love. Genuinely. It changed you." he strokes Xue Yang's cheek, "When you mourned with me and began to seek me out on the Barge, I... I couldn't hate you. And then we...slept together..." he chuckles shyly, "I realized all of my anger and frustration was just...passion. Some part in me needs you."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang is quiet as Song Lan speaks. Being reminded of Yi City brings him back there, makes his eyes water. Eight hopeless years of trying to bring back someone who didn't want to live, who would've hated him even more if he'd succeeded. And Song Lan... the constant shadow at his back, forced to obey his commands, but still capable of independent thought.

"I... I forgot to hate you a lot back home," he murmurs into Song Lan's chest where he buries his face, "I even wished sometimes that I hadn't cut your tongue out so you could talk to me." He'd been so desperately alone. "

A small sob escapes him. "I don't know... my head's all fucked up. I don't... I don't want to ruin things again." But he fears that he will, because he doesn't know how to hold onto good things.

[zichen]

"Hate is a good thing to forget. It's poison and it will tear you down eventually." Zichen had learned that the hard way. After killing Xue Yang and taking hold of Xingchen's sword and spirit, he had never been more alone.

He couldn't even ask for help.

"I would have called you every name I know." he smiles grimly, "But it would have been better than the silence."

Zichen rolls them and holds Xue Yang underneath him, raising himself to kiss his cheeks and over his eyelids.

"You know what hurts you. I'm no different. We might fight; we might be very angry at one another. But those emotions pass." he then asks, softly, "What brings you back here? With me? It's not hate."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang smiles a little through the tears. "Yeah. You and your toothless insults." It definitely would've been preferable to the silence. He'd talked to himself and to Xiao Xingchen's body to try and fill it, but it hadn't been enough. Had just reinforced how alone he was.

He shudders when Song Lan holds him under his body instead, immediately feeling a little grounded by it.

"It's not hate," he agrees in a low voice. "I guess I just... feel better being here, with you." He looks away, a little embarrassed. Feelings are hard and stupid!

[zichen]

"They would've been terribly effective." Zichen remarks sardonically before focusing on Xue Yang's reactions. It's rare to see the other man so...out of his comfort zone. Yet it feels like he is partially trying for Zichen's sake.

And that is all Zichen will ever ask of him.

"That's good." he smiles, the expression softening, "I feel better too."

Being with Xue Yang.

"You understand...what we endured. You know the pain of loving and losing. I don't have to explain myself to you."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"At least I could've insulted you back."

Xue Yang is trying, but being vulnerable is still so uncomfortable for him. Uncomfortable and frightening. It feels like baring his throat to a potential predator. Song Lan hasn't torn his throat out yet though.

"Mmm..." He nods. He really does feel like they can understand each other on a level no one else would be able to. And that does afford Song Lan some trust. "I don't think anyone else would understand it."

[zichen]

"That almost sounds fun." Zichen kisses Xue Yang's lips lightly. If he is a predator, he is one that has lost interest in the hunt. He just wants a pack...a mate. Someone he can call his own and use for warmth in the cold, long nights.

"I don't want them to." it's bad enough they understand.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang chuckles. "I could've taught you some more creative insults. Hell, I could still do that!"

He grins a little and kisses him back, softly nipping at those lips. "Me neither."

[zichen]

"I'll bite you if you go too far." Zichen warns, laughing throatily under the nipping, "But you would probably like that. I should come up with a better punishment."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang giggles a little. Oh, he would definitely enjoy that!

"Like what?" he teases, "Are you going to spank me?" His eyes sparkle brightly at that.

[zichen]

"You look far too happy for that to be a punishment." Zichen narrows his eyes, suspicious, "Do you like being spanked, Xue Yang?"

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang grins and wiggles his ass playfully. "Why don't you try it and find out?"

[zichen]

"..." Zichen is...curious. More curious than he would like to admit. Biting his lip, he stretches out his hand and...smacks that wiggling backside.

Once.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang hadn't been sure that Song Lan would actually do it, so he's pleasantly surprised when that strong hand comes down to smack his ass. He gasps and jerks forward, his cock giving a noticeable twitch. There is heat in Xue Yang's gaze as he looks up at his lover.

[zichen]

Xue Yang will find that what interests him - what arouses him - intrigues Zichen too. His eyes widen at the reaction and he peeks down between them, smirking slowly.

"You do like it." he caresses his lover's backside before smacking him again.

[bringingdowndisaster]

"A-Ah, ye-yes," Xue Yang gets out before he's moaning when smacked again. He grins heatedly and leans up nip at Song Lan's ear. "A-And you seem to like doing it..."

[zichen]

"I like seeing you react." Zichen corrects him, massaging the delicious muscles of said backside, "And I like touching you."

So it works out well for him~ He smacks the opposite cheek this time, grinning unapologetically.

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang groans and presses closer to Song Lan, letting him feel how hard he's become just from being spanked. "Mmm... I can tell," he breathes, shuddering at the stinging his lover's palm is leaving on his ass, coloring the pale skin red.

[zichen]

What a nice surprise. Zichen takes hold of Xue Yang's cock and spanks him - a little softer - liking how the impact makes him twitch.

"Like I said, you are very charming when you want to be." he murmurs huskily, "I never thought I would like mischief in a partner, but I accept yours."

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Mnn... your hands are so strong," he murmurs, a little dazed. He hopes it'll leave marks that will last a little... He thrusts into Song Lan's hand and slides his arms around his neck, nuzzling into it. "Mnn... Zichen..."

[zichen]

"Thank Fuxue for that." Zichen sucks on the side of Xue Yang's neck, stroking his cock and continuing to spank those now hot cheeks, "You're being irresistible again."

[bringingdowndisaster]

Xue Yang whines softly as he gets lost in the sensations of Song Lan's hand around his cock while the other continues to spank him red and hot. There's a pleasant, fuzzy feeling building inside of him, making him feel like he's swimming in warmth.

"A-Ah... need you," he murmurs breathily.

[zichen]

"How do you need me?" he wants to know. He needs to know. Zichen pulls back just enough to brush a tender kiss against Xue Yang's lips.

"Tell me and you won't be disappointed." his hand tightens around his lover's cock and Zichen feels a rush of...possessiveness.

[bringingdowndisaster]

"Inside me..." Xue Yang breathes, "Hold me down, take me..." He's feeling such a need to be claimed, dominated... He shivers and needily snuggles closer.

[zichen]

Zichen grabs the salve and coats his fingers. He slips said fingers into Xue Yang and kisses him again, sucking his lower lip between his teeth.

"Mmm..."