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[bringingdowndisaster]

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[zichen]

[He nips at Xue Yang's earlobe and tuts.]

It was very good, but that isn't what convinced me to love you. [Zichen isn't the best at talking about these things, but he knows he has to try.] Even if we never had sex, I would love you.

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[ Xue Yang giggles a little and rests his hand on Song Lan's chest. ]

I know. [ He smiles warmly and leans up to kiss his cheek. ] You're not the type to only want one thing.

[zichen]

[Zichen rests his lips against Xue Yang's forehead, nuzzling the crown of his head.]

You reach out to me, you care when I'm upset or hurt, you make me feel alive.

[bringingdowndisaster]

[ Xue Yang melts so easily under Song Lan's affection. His breathing slows and he relaxes fully. ]

You do the same for me. You've made me really happy...

[zichen]

[He smiles softly at the change and he nudges their noses together.]

I won't ever forget the river. Leaving you felt like I was ripping out my heart.

And you waited for me. You never lost hope in me.

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[ Xue Yang nuzzles their lips together and smiles. ]

Mm... me neither. It made me realize that I really did trust you with my life. And... how much I love you. When I saw you come for me, I was happy, but I wasn't surprised. I just knew you'd find a way.

[zichen]

[He holds Xue Yang tighter at those memories.]

I was so desperate. The second I was given permission, I jumped over the side. I just needed to know I had a chance of finding you and bringing you back to our cabin.

[bringingdowndisaster]

[ Xue Yang wraps an arm around Song Lan and snuggles closer. The memory makes him feel cold. ]

I was so cold... I knew you'd come, but I worried I'd die before you could reach me. I was going to call you on the network just to hear your voice, but then you showed up.

[ He smiles softly. ]

[zichen]

[Grabbing the blankets, he tucks them around them, creating a warm cocoon.]

Your lips were blue. [Zichen whispers, kissing his lover once, twice.] If you had died, I would have died there with you. Where you go, I go, A-Yang.

[bringingdowndisaster]

[ Xue Yang shudders a little, but the warmth and comfort pushes those unpleasant memories away. He gently cups Song Lan's face between his hands and returns the kisses. ]

I don't want to die. Not until we're both old and grey and have lived a long life together, anyway. [ He smiles a little shakily. ] I never expected to live a long life. I didn't care, but now I do. I want to grow old, with you.

[zichen]

[Zichen wraps his arms and legs around Xue Yang, clearly making a point: he isn't going to let anything or anyone pull them apart.]

I want to see you old and grey. [He chuckles.] You will still be absurdly handsome.

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[ Xue Yang laughs a little. ]

I can't imagine myself that old. Grey hairs and wrinkles... I never used to think about it when I was younger.

[zichen]

[Zichen strokes over Xue Yang's cheek.]

I will love you even more by then. [He kisses Xue Yang's chin, grinning.] Let's see if I can still carry you at that age.

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[ Xue Yang laughs. ]

I wouldn't want you to break your back! Old man~ [ He teases, eyes bright. ]

[zichen]

Brat. [Zichen playfully narrows his eyes.] I can carry you no matter how old I get. You are mine.

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[ Xue Yang giggles and bats his eyelashes at Song Lan. ] You like it when I'm bratty~ [ He slips his arms around Song Lan's neck and smiles. ] I know it.

[zichen]

[Smirking, Zichen groans softly at just the contact between their bodies.]

I like you, bratty, happy, sad, angry, grumpy... You should know that too.

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[ Xue Yang grins and nips at Song Lan's chin. ]

Mmm... I do. For some reason, you're even willing to deal with me when I'm an asshole. [ He laughs a little, but there's an undeniable warmth and gratitude in his gaze. He truly feels loved and accepted. ]

[zichen]

[He slides his hands over Xue Yang's back, arching a dark brow.]

That's when you need me most. [Because if Xue Yang is feeling defensive, something is very wrong.]

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[ It's very true. If Xue Yang were to lash out, it would be because something is wrong. It warms him that Song Lan understands him so well. ]

I love you. [ He snuggles up even closer and slides a leg over his husband's hip. ] I never... felt like anyone understood me before now.

[zichen]

[Zichen knows that Xue Yang only loses his temper these days if he is incredibly pushed or stressed. The best thing he can do is intervene in the situation and carry his husband somewhere safer and calmer.]

I love you too. [He welcomes the leg, squeezing Xue Yang's thigh.] I've watched you for years. You were broken, but now I see those pieces coming together.